I’m still in the process of cleaning up little things that I noticed are broken with the new hosting for both sites, so I haven’t had anything really insightful to say here, but I’m getting pretty close to having everything the way I want it to be. After that, I really want to dig into thinking about ways to spruse this place up a bit. With my new hosting plan I have a lot more flexibility in terms of being able to really do some different things with all of my sites that I hadn’t really been able to do before. I’ve got some ideas, but I’d like to hear what you think. Given that this site’s name is childabusesurvivor.net, I want it to be a place for all survivors, not necessarily just for me and my thoughts. What would you like to see added to give it more of a community site feel? Would you like to see other survivors blogging on this site? A new forum-type system, a news articles RSS feed? A little chat room? Something I haven’t even thought of yet? Let me know.
The Healthy Place website is looking for some freelancers to work on mental health blogs over on their site. Like they say on the tv show America’s Got Talent: “So you think you have talent?” If so, we hope you’ll consider blogging for us. We are looking for mental health bloggers (paid freelance positions) in…
So, when I look at a highly successful program like US gymnastics, like Penn State football, like USA Swimming, like English Youth Football, etc. I think we can clearly see this. Why be such a downer, don’t you see how much good this program, and the people in it, are doing? It’s probably nothing, just some misunderstanding by over-imaginative kids. Nothing to worry about, look at the success we are having in the field, gym, or water. That’s what this is all about. That’s the important thing. The rest of this will pass.
Except in the case of US Gymnastics, these ladies, and dozens of others, have not simply let it pass. They have remained steadfast in talking about it, making sure they can do everything they can to make sure it doesn’t happen to the next generation and reminding all of us that winning at all costs, is not worth the damage that is done to children who are sexually abused.
They are truly resilient, like many of us who have survived sexual abuse, and gone on to talk about it, share our own stories, and live our adult lives. But never confuse that resiliency with how hard it really is to do. Never look at a survivor who has appeared to overcome their abuse, and assume that it’s ok to diminish what happened to them. It’s never easy, and for each one who might appear to have overcome, I’ll show you 5 who are still struggling every single day. You’ll find many of them in prison, or mental health care centers. Still dealing with the aftermath of their childhood trauma without access to the same support and resources that we lucky few have had the privilege to have. Yet they are all human beings, and they were all children once, children who had to suffer at the hands of adults who were more interested in their own pleasures, comfort, and place in their society than they were to consider the damage being done to these children.
Don’t be one of those adults. There are many ways to abuse a child. Larry Nassar did and is paying for his crimes, finally. But there were a whole lot of other adults who abused these girls, by not taking it seriously, not investigating, and not caring enough about them as human beings to protect them. Make no mistake about that.
The context for this quote is a handful of stories where someone felt ashamed of an event or something that they’d allowed people to believe about them that wasn’t true. Marisa goes on to talk about how when we have something we won’t discuss, it creates a separation from other people, and that separation can take away from humanness. Our interactions with other people are blocked off. We know we aren’t sharing our whole selves with the people we should be. That block can protect us from potential pain, but it also prevents us from having all the benefits of having close relationships with other humans.
Doesn’t that sound exactly like growing up keeping our abuse secret?
We grow up with shame around something that was never our fault. That shame prevents us from fully connecting with other human beings. That lack of connection harms our mental health as adults. We struggle to heal without one of the most powerful tools in our arsenal as human beings, other people. We keep our secrets and hide our shame, meaning we will never know the healing power of being accepted and loved by those who know our whole selves.
Thanks to a great plugin, I’ve enabled you all to have the ability to subscribe by email to comments on any entry on the blog. So, when you leave a comment and want to know if anyone responds to your comment, just be sure to check the box for that, and leave your email address…
As many of you know, back in September I shut down the Survivors Network as it existed, due to some issues with the level of privacy and anonymity of the Buddypress infrastructure. As I mentioned then the Facebook page has been getting quite popular, and there had been some interaction going on there as well,…