When Marj mentioned on Twitter today that this month marks the four year anniversary of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, it got me thinking about the importance of anniversaries. As a survivor, or anyone who is concerned about healing or improving in any way, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, etc. are a good opportunity to take stock and see how things are going.
On the other hand, I’ve also had to resist the urge to try and figure out if I was “healed” already or not, which tends to be counterproductive. It’s not about being “done” with healing, it’s about being able to see improvement from the previous anniversary. Simply put, there’s no time frame or deadline on healing. It’s all about continuing to do the work and being more healed than you were last year, or last month. If you can get to an important date in your life, and see improvement in yourself since the last important date, then you’re doing something right. Keep doing it, and let the end result take care of itself.
I’ve noticed the age and the gravity of the anniversaries decide how best to deal with them from my experience, I’ve noticed that multiples of five and ten (a little like war anniversaries) certainly make it easier for me to draw a line under certain events, that’s as you say, if you even notice them before they land.
If you don’t even notice the anniversary until after it’s passed, then you’re doing well.
You make some really good and succinct points here, Mike. Thanks for coming up with a post especially for our anniversary. I appreciate that and I appreciate all your support and involvement with the carnival from the very beginning!
I finally have the edition up now–so go take a look, won’t you? Thanks!
Marj’s 4th year anniversary reminded me that June 1 was my 3 year anniversary for Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker. Because I was in the middle of some major grieving caused by my Inner Child Letters Series, I totally forgot about it until after the anniversary had come and gone. I, too, believe anniversaries are a good time to measure improvements in our recovery. Marj and Mike, both of you are appreciated for the work that you do in bringing awareness of abuse to the world.
Congrats on 3 years of great work to you too Patricia!
Was strolling through my blog roll today…something I haven’t done in ages. Mike, your speaking of “end of healing” and anniversaries really struck a chord with me. I rarely have a freak out memory any longer but I do know I was processing a LOT since July 1 through the holiday including specific recurring body memories. No feelings attached except sighs that my body is still remembering.
Yesterday the body memory returned and I have no idea why. I did several sets on Polyvore related to ballet which provided some context but well out of my awareness as to meaning. Ballerina healing I suppose. Decided just since 4th of July to start marking body memories on calendar so I can see if there is a pattern. Wish I’d thought of that years ago.
Have come to accept that healing to us is like life. It’s all a journey. It ends when it ends and we never know when that might be. Feels good to be here and participate in some small way. Miss you guys.
Good to hear from you Grace!