Shame and Guilt – For Telling the Truth

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I discovered a relatively new site yesterday and while I don’t know much about the author, I thought this particular part of what it’s like to finally tell someone about your abuse was really insightful.

However, I also felt extremely guilty. This was a “forever secret” and I broke it. A year later, and I still can’t shake this guilt I feel, and this loyalty to him, hence why this blog is currently under an anonymous name.


This is something we don’t tend to talk about enough, but when i read this I really thought it was a perfect example of the struggle adults, let alone kids, deal with when it comes to telling. Even if we can get past the shame of being a victim, there’s the attachment that survivors develop over years of grooming and abuse.

This is real, and it should not be taken lightly when we think about why survivors struggle with sharing their stories.

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  1. I was abused and tortured when I was six years old. By three teenage girls. One of the individuals held the trust of my mother. So my protestations were treated as fantasy and I was punished further.
    My experience lasted for a few months. Then they lost interest. The abuse stopped. But the rift between me and my mother remained. She had lost my trust and could not understand why.
    For years I kept my secret. Then in my twenties I shared it with a male friend to whom I had grown close. I had formed the idea he would believe me. Guess what. Not only did he not believe me he laughed at the idea.
    That was the last time until today I have felt like sharing my tale. It is only through God’s good grace I have not become an abuser myself. Indeed the idea is complete anathema to me.
    I do become angry however. When I see the media releasing yet another ‘ dirty old man ’ paedophile story. There are female abusers out there. But as in my case. Nobody wants to know

    1. Keith, I’m sorry you have gone through that. Unfortunately, it isn’t uncommon for any survivor to not be believed, but it seems especially so for male survivors. Thank you for sharing your story here!

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