The Difference Between Knowledge and Life Experience

I’ve been busy learning new skills and embracing some changes for the last couple of weeks. These changes have been challenging and have reminded me that while many of us know about a topic, we should listen to people with lived experience.

For years, I have been opining that part of the problem with stigma is related to the fact that there are too many people who don’t know anyone who survived childhood trauma or mental health issues. It’s easy to tell someone to “suck it up” when severe depression is something you’re only vaguely familiar with. It becomes more difficult to dismiss a condition when you understand all the little struggles involved.

This same opinion holds for chronic health conditions. Many abuse survivors deal with chronic pain and other diseases. I try to advocate for folks in that situation because it’s part of the mental health and abuse community, but I’ve usually done that by linking to other sources. It’s why I often advocate for diverse and flexible workplaces, because there are so many people out there with illnesses and disabilities that make it extremely difficult to commute to a job every day. People who are more than capable of doing the work, who can’t drive, or who need to address medical issues away from the office during the day, etc.

In the years I’ve been doing this, I’ve tried very hard to listen to others’ lived experiences. I’ve been fortunate until now to not be in a situation where I have to live with a chronic condition.

That changed a couple of weeks ago when I received a diabetes diagnosis. I’m sharing this news to elicit no response or pity. It is what it is – a condition that millions of people live with every day. It’s also a condition that I thought I knew a lot about.

Now that I’m just a few weeks in, I’m seeing how much I didn’t know. I am getting a better understanding of how many little things go into each day to treat and monitor my condition. I also see how much of the world is not designed to help with illness. I know my limited experience is just scratching the surface. Still, as much as I learned about diabetes a few weeks ago, I didn’t have the experience of trying to figure out what to eat while traveling or how to measure my blood sugar when I’m not home. I am feeling the mental weight of taking medication each day, testing my blood each day, and tracking all of the food I eat. I knew diabetics had to do that, but the mental weight of it didn’t register in the same way until I had some intimate experience with it.

You should not feel sorry for me. This post isn’t about me. As I said, I have a condition that millions of people deal with every day. I’ll do the same. It’s about the reality that people around us live with things that require efforts we don’t understand. Just showing up for life every day requires effort and dedication from everyone you know. The effort and challenges differ, and they are not distributed equally. You shouldn’t dismiss anyone’s struggles, especially if you’ve not been in those same circumstances yourself.

Some things have to be experienced to see all the details. When someone is willing to share the details of their challenges, listen and learn. Raise their voices instead of assuming you know the answers.

Experience is a hard teacher. We can all learn lessons from those who’ve lived it.