Law

  • We will eventually not be able to talk about sexual abuse online

    What’s objectionable? Who decides that? Does an abusive parent get to decide that no one should provide any information about abuse to their kid? Do ultra-religious parents get to decide that no one should see information about LGBTQ issues or mental health medication? Do non-religious parents get to decide that no one is allowed to read the Bible online due to violent passages? 

    It appears the answer to that, at least until a court steps in to strike down this law, is yes to all of that. As the EFF points out, this isn’t just a risk to the big tech platforms. Anyone with a blog, website, social media account, etc., is subject to a civil lawsuit based on a parent not agreeing with what they post. 

  • Society Doesn’t Learn – Survivors Aren’t Believed

    It’s disheartening to think that I’ve spent over 20 years in the online survivor community advocating that we believe survivors and act on accusations of abuse only to wind up here. This feels like we’ve gone back to the days of sexual violence being unheard of because no one would dare talk about being a victim. It’s enough to make you want to quit. I felt that way last week. As I watched my wife’s hope for women across the country leave her body while also being overwhelmingly angry at people who voted for a criminal and a rapist, I wanted to walk away and shut myself off from the world.

    Instead, I stepped away for a few days and reminded myself that there will be innumerable victims of sexual abuse who can’t talk about it and need to know that they are not alone. There are growing numbers of survivors who will be losing their families and friends and need to know that they are not alone. We will all be looking for community. 

    If anything, the importance of staying online and continuing to talk about child abuse, sexual violence, mental health, and supporting vulnerable people is higher now than it has been in the entire time I’ve been doing this. Now is not the time to walk away; it’s the time to fight for survivors.

  • Music for your mental health – Where the Road Goes

    The words reminded me so much of a time in my life when I could have died and thought none of this was worth it. It also reminded me of why I didn’t – my curiosity. My desire to see what happens and “where the road goes” may have been the only thing that kept me alive back then. I didn’t have much hope to hold on to, but I knew enough to know that I didn’t have all the answers and couldn’t tell the future. Why not see what happens tomorrow and the next day? 

    Eventually, I found some lovely things mentioned in the song—people, places, and thingsI love. 

  • The US, where being homeless could be a crime.

    You could argue that the outcome will be a large number of people with mental health issues crammed into a massively overburdened prison system with almost no hope of ever getting out. (Where would they go? Back to being homeless and thus getting arrested again.) 

    We’ve tried that with serious mental illness, and it doesn’t work. It fixes nothing unless you think lots of people with mental health issues dying in prison is the answer. I prefer that most of us are not that callous and uncaring. But most of us aren’t writing these laws and upholding them. That’s for the elite few with power, and I’m not as convinced they would care about anyone with a mental health struggle because they surely don’t do much to provide resources and assistance to struggling people. 

  • Sad News – The loss of a mental health advocate and friend

    It’s been some time since I was a guest on her show, and it’d even been a few months since we talked, so it wasn’t until today that I learned about the loss of Tiffany Werhner earlier this week. To say that I was shocked, and saddened, doesn’t even come close to what I’m really feeling today.

  • Florida Sends the Wrong Message when Allowing for the Death Penalty in Child Abuse Cases

    I get it. Punishing child abusers is an easy public opinion win. No one wants to punish abusers less. As survivors, though, we must balance that with what is best for the child. Testifying in a child abuse trial is a traumatic experience as it is. We shouldn’t be asking kids to take responsibility for taking the life of their abuser on top of that or spend the rest of their lives knowing that someone died because they spoke up. Nor should we be arming abusers with another way to manipulate kids into staying silent.

    We should focus on what is best for a survivor’s healing so they can have a life after abuse because that is possible.