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  • History Survives When We Talk About It

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 3 minutes

    No matter what our leaders want to include or exclude from the official histories, we know these events happened. We may not be successful in getting large-scale claims of abuse into the history books of the future, though we should try, but we can all continue to talk about them. The mainstream may want us to be quiet about the abuse that happens within the family, the church, etc., but we can tell our stories. We have voices, our own online spaces, connections, and the freedom to speak.

    Most of all, we can support the people telling those stories. They are preserving our history and reminding all of us that the survivors are out here, we know what was done, and we will not accept the lies. We can ensure the truth is out there for those who want to learn and do everything we can to ensure that history is shared. 

  • Society Doesn’t Learn – Survivors Aren’t Believed

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 5 minutes

    It’s disheartening to think that I’ve spent over 20 years in the online survivor community advocating that we believe survivors and act on accusations of abuse only to wind up here. This feels like we’ve gone back to the days of sexual violence being unheard of because no one would dare talk about being a victim. It’s enough to make you want to quit. I felt that way last week. As I watched my wife’s hope for women across the country leave her body while also being overwhelmingly angry at people who voted for a criminal and a rapist, I wanted to walk away and shut myself off from the world.

    Instead, I stepped away for a few days and reminded myself that there will be innumerable victims of sexual abuse who can’t talk about it and need to know that they are not alone. There are growing numbers of survivors who will be losing their families and friends and need to know that they are not alone. We will all be looking for community. 

    If anything, the importance of staying online and continuing to talk about child abuse, sexual violence, mental health, and supporting vulnerable people is higher now than it has been in the entire time I’ve been doing this. Now is not the time to walk away; it’s the time to fight for survivors.

  • World Suicide Prevention Day is Also Hurricane Prep Day This Year for Me

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 2 minutes

    We did all of those things in the 24-72 hours before the storm. The storm should make landfall sometime tomorrow. We’ve got our water stock, will get some ice, and have everything on chargers, batteries, and flashlights ready. Our cars are full of gas, cash on hand, and ice is getting picked up now. 

    If/when the power goes out tomorrow, we’ve got the necessities and a pretty good idea of where we will head on Thursday if it appears we’ll be without power for a few days. 

    Similarly, we don’t wait until someone is in a mental health crisis to figure out how to keep them alive. Plan. Know who to call, where to go, and what activities help you in crisis. Let the people in your life know the plan so they know what to do. 

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    Reasons I Didn’t Tell Anyone I was Being Sexually Abused

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 6 minutes

    That’s why when people approach me with ideas for how to prevent childhood sexual abuse, the only two things I focus on are education and honesty. I didn’t even know I was being abused because I lacked any education, and I didn’t talk to anyone because there were no safe adults for me to talk to. 

    If you want to prevent abuse, do those things. Talk to kids about sex, abuse, rape, violence, and LGBTQ issues. Please give them the vocabulary to talk about what is happening to them, to define what is right and wrong, and a place to get their questions answered honestly, get good information on the topic, and have open conversations without judgment. 

    If you aren’t willing to provide that for kids, I guarantee you there is a predator out there who will be more than happy to fill in the spaces for the kids around you and teach them about sex. You’re not going to like what they teach them.