Sickness and depression

I’ve been sick the last couple of weeks. Nothing major, just one of those stubborn head colds that seems to stay with you forever! It’s getting better slowly, I even managed to make it to work every day this week after taking two days off last week. The thing I most hate about it, is how much stuff gets left undone. I mean it’s a struggle just to get to work and get through the day, so a bunch of techie projects that I’ve been wanting to work on at home have gotten dropped. Things like keeping track of when I need an oil change, or scheduling an appointment to get a haircut, or finishing the book I started, all just seem to get lost in the struggle to just get through the day. Today I realized that it’s an awful lot like being depressed.

If you’ve never experienced depression, think of it this way. Think of the times when you’re physically sick. On good days you struggle through the work day, come home, maybe have something to eat, and don’t have the energy to do anything more than maybe watch some TV and fall asleep. On bad days you don’t even make it to work, you lie around the house, lacking the energy to really get involved in anything. Taking a shower makes you tired. Stopping for groceries on the way home seems like a Herculean task. You’re so doped up on medicine and feeling bad that you can’t even follow a conversation so you just don’t talk to anyone. You wander around in a fog, not really caring about anything, because it all requires too much energy. Everything is a struggle. You just want to get better and back to normal, and you get crabbier and more impatient the longer it takes.

Now imagine living that way all the time, because it’s not a virus that’s going to get better over time, it’s part of you.