Always something there to remind me…

ByMike McBride Reading Time: 1 minute

Yesterday, at a family gathering to celebrate both my father and my younger brother’s birthdays, I was struck a couple of times by just how odd and neurotic I can be about some things. Most of the time I think I’m relatively healthy, and “over” my childhood, but conversations like those I had yesterday bring back just how much it all still affects me. I have to explain that I’d rather drive across the country than fly because I don’t like the “hassles” of airport security, when what I really mean is that having people search me, touch me, examine me, etc., dealing with crowds of people and not having any personal space makes me incredibly uncomfortable. That by the time I arrive at my destination I’m emotionally exhausted, not because I have a fear of flying or that the trip itself is tiring, but because I’m forced to deal with all of these people and their rules, and have no control over any of it!

Gee and that’s just the airport, don’t even get me started on doctors, or the sight of mayonaisse. Those things I am truly neurotic about! Guess I’m not as healthy and well-adjusted as I think I am, eh?

Share with your friends!
BlueskyMastodonThreadsLinkedInRedditTumblrBuffer

Similar Posts

  • Touching

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 1 minute

    I’ve been talking with someone about the topic of being touched in public, or by various people. I’m somewhat fascinated by what other people’s feelings are on the subject. I’m very uncomfortable being touched by all but a few people in the world, and I’ve slways assumed that’s because of the abuse. That short list…

  • |

    Let the Fault Lie Where it Should

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 2 minutes

    I was thinking earlier this week about why many victims of child abuse, or domestic violence, continue to believe they deserved what happened to them. One of the themes I very often see is actually immaturity. The reason I say that is, immature people see themselves as the center of everything that happens, mature people…

  • The importance of unlearning our childhood stories

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 3 minutes

    I could not heal until I unlearned that my abuse was something I somehow caused. Unlearning that opened up the possibility of learning something different, namely, that I was abused because someone decided to abuse me. Did that happen overnight? Of course not! Unlearning is a process, and the more closely we identify with a belief, the more difficult it becomes to unlearn it. So many survivors learn at a very early age to keep secrets, that bad things will happen if they tell anyone.

    People who’ve never had that belief drilled into their young minds wonder why victims wait decades to come forward and tell their stories. That’s why! That belief is hard to unlearn. Many of us grew up with silence being the thing that prevents the abuse from being worse. Why should we start discussing it? If you tried to tell someone as a child and got shut down, this only gets worse. 

  • Thankfulness

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 1 minute

    After work today we’ll be off to celebrate the holiday with Angela’s parents, and spending the whole weekend visiting. I’m looking forward to the down time, it’s been a very hectic week! 🙂 I’m glad too, that I’ll have some time to savor the things that I am truly thankful for, the live that I…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

To respond on your own website, enter the URL of your response which should contain a link to this post's permalink URL. Your response will then appear (possibly after moderation) on this page. Want to update or remove your response? Update or delete your post and re-enter your post's URL again. (Find out more about Webmentions.)