Link – How Depression Can Damage a Marriage
This is why it’s really both people in a relationship who need support, even as the one with depression is getting help.
Depression takes the relationship down with the victim. Many studies show how this happens. For starters, depressed people often exude waves of negativity, which is hard for a partner to deal with. They also make more bad choices when depressed, like driving drunk or saying mean things. Non-depressed partners often worry or feel guilty for what is happening. One study found when a person looks at their depressed partner’s face, it causes a depressed reaction in their own brain. It is stressful to see another in pain, and this feeds a vicious cycle. When Yuko would become upset, it would trigger Logan’s distorted perceptions. He saw her emotion as hostile, even when it wasn’t. He assumed she became upset because she hated him, when the reality was that she was worrying.
It’s hard to be in a relationship with someone in the midst of struggling. The stress covers both of you, and affects not just how you relate to each other, but life outside of the relationship as well. That’s not to say you should walk away from someone you love if they are dealing with a mental health issue, but make sure to take care of yourself as well. Otherwise this cycle will take you both down.
