I agree with Sherri that with all of the contributing factors to our mental and physical health, why do we assume there is one “solution” out there for everyone? And why do we offer flippant responses to people who are struggling to find what helps them? We are all unique beings, so it shouldn’t be shocking that we don’t all reach wellness in the same way.
Overall though, this is more evidence of how much our mental health suffers when we do not feel part of a community. We all can play a role in making sure our community is embracing people who need that social connection.
Today, I happened to come across some more research that should make us question another of our flip answers to someone struggling with their mental health, eat healthier. Because, when eating at all is in question, telling someone to eat healthier is not solving any issues for them.
It’s an easy copout for the mental health community to suggest self-care items that will help with mental health without acknowledging the reality for many. Telling people to do things like create more space for sleep, or make healthier food choices while still not making a wage that would pay for those things is just mean. What we do as a society matters when it comes to the mental health of all of our members. We can’t hide from that fact.
The math seems pretty simple here. We lose nothing by being kind and friendly. We might all gain enough to prevent the loss of another life. Suicide Prevention might involve some huge programs and resources, but it can start right here in how we interact with even our most casual connections.
For many survivors, their definition of healed automatically becomes a goal that can never be reached. We should quit trying to “be the person I was before the abuse” because it’s impossible. By setting that as our pass/fail goal, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of falling short, instead of a lifetime of celebrating the gap between where we started and where we are today. We also never find a better goal that is more realistic.
Please, take a good look at how you are defining healed. More importantly, don’t lose sight of the amount of healing and growth that you’ve already done. Be proud of it. This is your life, it’s not a pass/fail exam. It’s so much bigger than that.
