So again, we see that simply accepting people for who they are has a pretty large impact on the risk of losing them to suicide. Why would we do anything else, for anyone?
Healthy relationships have boundaries that are respected by everyone. Even if we didn’t see that growing up we can still learn to develop boundaries.
Maybe, most importantly, these parents seem to think they know better, that the mental health of their kids is something they can handle on their own. We know that isn’t true. We know the number of teens who have considered suicide is much higher than the number of parents who think their teen has. That doesn’t suggest that what we’ve been doing is working, it suggests that having mental health resources available at school is a net positive for everyone.
But that fact appears to be no match compared to stigma and conspiracy theories.
When I think about Monika’s point, and my own look at the numbers, I repeat what I said back then, when looking at one individual, the ACE survey is never the whole story. There are lots of childhood experiences that go unaccounted for, there are individual levels of resilience that are not accounted for, and there are early interventions that are not considered. One traumatic experience equals one traumatic experience in the final number, regardless of whether that experience was immediately followed up with support and maybe even therapy, or if it was ignored and maybe even repeated. There are numerous factors beyond simply answering more than 4 questions yes and assuming you’re an addict, or not answering enough questions yes and assuming you aren’t. It is much more complicated than that.
The ACE information is important though because it points us back to that childhood trauma and says “what happened to you?” when treating an individual for depression, or addiction, so that we can include that in our healing. What we want to be careful with is turning it into a blunt instrument when there is still so much not being accounted for within it.
Caught this 5-star review of a novel by Emma earlier this week and wanted to share, as it may be of interest to some of you. In Emma’s words:
5*s for this beautiful insight into Amy’s life, and how she copes with OCD and mental health issues. I found it a kind, interesting and beautiful novel about the lives of people we all meet everyday, who we may not realise are facing such challenges, and how the actions of others can make a positive difference.
As the post below goes on to explain, it’s not just being generous financially that has this effect on us, it can also be giving time by volunteering, or helping out someone who can use it, cooking a meal for them, helping them clean, etc. All of these ways of giving to another human being helps that person, and it helps us. It’s good for us.
The other thing I’d like for many survivors to consider is finding a way to be generous during the holidays especially when you are struggling with the holidays to start with. Yes, I’ve seen many, many folks already starting to dread the holidays. They are estranged from their families, expect to spend the holidays alone, etc. It sucks, I won’t lie about that. But, consider finding a way to be generous, as a way to make the holidays a bit less lonely. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, or another place that may be serving holiday meals. Hop online and offer to chat with other folks in a similar situation over the holidays, make plans to get outside of your own situation, and find a way to give to someone else, even if it’s nothing more than time.
That might be the better option for the holidays compared to just waiting for them to be over if you can find a way to do it.