Sharing – The Importance of Role-Models for Survivors of Abuse
I’d much rather have some difficult conversations and for all of us to be uncomfortable with the topic than for that kid to feel that alone.
I’d much rather have some difficult conversations and for all of us to be uncomfortable with the topic than for that kid to feel that alone.
I’ve seen this time and time again. As men, we might even be told that we should be open to our emotions, but there are still very few spaces for men to show emotion. Sports is one example of a space where we can show excitement or disappointment. Sometimes, we can show more complex emotions, but only in romantic relationships—never with friends.
He also discusses the limited range of emotions usually deemed acceptable for men. Note how anger is one we are allowed to have and how it gets used as the cover for several more complicated emotions. That might also explain why men with depression don’t come across as sad but angry and thus don’t get diagnosed with depression as often as women. It doesn’t “look” like the depression we see in the media.
The use of AI is a new twist. It’s not enough to tell young boys not to send explicit selfies; they also need to understand that someone may use AI to create an explicit image of them regardless. Education must include societal-wide awareness that an image may not be what it appears to be. That has to be part of this. The extortionist’s main weapon is the shame of having explicit photos of their victim out among their friends and family. Shame is powerful. When we live in a world where anyone with an internet connection and a photo of your face can turn that into an explicit image of you, we need to eliminate the shame. There’s no shame to be had for someone else’s bad actions.
The central question of the article below is a good one: Why Do victims of nonsexual violent crimes usually involve authorities while most rape survivors remain silent? Most of the article is about adult sexual assault, but she points out that children who are sexually abused face this same question for similar reasons. Those reasons…
How many survivors have been told to stop talking about their abuse, to forgive their abuser, to coexist with their abuser, all in the name of family unity? I know too many who have found themselves sacrificed on the altar of this myth. They’ve been silenced, ignored, and suffered further trauma in the name of keeping the family peace so that their abuser can exist comfortably in the family.
This article makes clear that sibling sexual abuse is happening to kids all around us. It has been happening throughout history. We also know a lot about it if people are willing to listen. The article is long but well worth it to understand what the risks are, what to do when you find out about it, how to prevent it, and most importantly, understand that if you were sexually abused by a sibling, you are not alone.