Over in the forums, someone has posted a rather complex legal issue. I wanted to point it out here so that those of you who maybe have some more experience working with children’s services and the legal system could take a look and see if there was some words of advice or encouragement to offer.
Or if you just wanted to post something more than what I could! Thanks!
Pin These all ring so true to either my own experience or the experiences of other survivors I have known through the years. One of the biggest hurdles we have to clear before we can really even begin to have a semi-normal adult life is believing that the way we grew up is the way all relationships work. Even all these years later, I still have to remind myself that what I do is good enough, at home and at work. Or that it’s OK to emotionally connect with new people. It’s really difficult to unlearn those lessons from childhood, and yet it’s so freeing to realize that what happened to us, wasn’t because any of these were true. What happened to us was the result of someone else’s actions that are completely unrelated to who we are, or what we deserved.
I saw this post in my RSS reader today, and the title jumped out at me as quite a different perspective, but as I clicked over and read the post, I found a lot to agree with. It reminds me a lot about the discussions of what would be different about me if the abuse…
It’s up over at Survivor’s Can Thrive. From my first glimpse, it looks like there is a ton of good stuff to read over there. Maybe more than I’ll have time for! Check it out! Tags: CarnivalAgainstChildAbuse
I spotted this article about Tom Arnold revealing the sexual abuse he suffered as a child and since the article is on a site for Mom’s there was also some good advice for what to do if you husband admits to having been abused as a child. • Don’t blame the victim – One common…
From Leah today, Seven Commandments for Survivors. Excellent stuff to think about and apply to your own healing right now!
Today, as we were walking around Savannah, my wife and I came across a lovely Presbyterian Church and noticed that they had a sign out about a Compline service that evening starting at 9:00PM. It sounded pretty interesting, and as we are always on the lookout for new and interesting things when we are traveling,…
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The situation Leah described in the forum was horrible for two reasons: first, because of the abuse, and second, because of the actions (or inactions) of Children’s Services.
These types of situations have another, less-heralded consequence as well – the automatic presumption of guilt whenever someone’s accused. And the tactics used to get a small child to claim abuse aren’t always caring and gentle. Recently, an under-qualified, inexperienced social worker who was interviewing my six year-old about something that happened with my older son (yes, he did molest her, and he’s in a residential treatment program now), asked a series of leading questions, and repeated them over and over until my daughter told her what she wanted to hear, and said I’d touched her inappropriately.
I went through a nightmare investigation, and so did my wife and children. I was proven innocent, but the damage to my life has been done. The guilty should be punished, but the innocent shouldn’t be destroyed along the way.
Thanks for reading!