I was reading this article on Lifehack the other day, and I thought the idea is a good one for abuse survivors, though the language might be a bt harsh for people who were truly abused by their parents, as opposed to just disappointed by their parents. Certainly, if your parents were your abusers, and continue to be detrimental to your healing, I wouldn’t recommend just “putting that behind you”, I might recommend literally putting them behind you in the form of cutting off contact though. 😉
Still, I thought there were some good ideas in terms of not letting being a survivor be the be all and end all of your existence.
Even though you may have a very good â€˜reasonâ€™ to be eternally pissed at your folks, Iâ€™m saying let it go anyway. Move on. And itâ€™s not about what they do or donâ€™t deserve; itâ€™s about what you deserve. If you want to destroy your potential, your enthusiasm, your optimism and your hope, then become a chronic Parent Blamer. Hang on to that hurt, no matter what!
There’s some truth to this. As abuse survivors, we all have our own “horrible parent” stories, and given those we have every right to be angry about what happened to us. But we’re adults now, they’re not in control of us any more. It’s time to take responsibility for ourselves, and learn to be the adults we weren’t taught to be as kids. We can do it!