|

Opening Up The Vault

As I pondered the theme for this month’s Carnival Against Child Abuse of renewal, or re-birth, I kept coming back to the same thought. Namely, that when we make a turn into a different direction in our lives, whether that be something as simple as giving up smoking, or making the very first steps into healing, we’ve changed everything, in terms of the possibilities we’ve opened up, yet we’ve also changed nothing. The details of our lives are still exactly the same. It reminded me greatly of something I wrote and posted to my old site, long before the idea of a blog had ever occurred to me. As it turns out, I’ve also been trying to figure out a way to bring those old essays into the blog so they can get some new life breathed into them, so what better way to start that then to republish one here as my submission to the Renewal theme:

Midnight Is Where The Day Begins

This is a song lyric I heard today ( U2, Lemon). I thought to myself, how true this sentiment is. Midnight has always been the one time we were supposed to fear, the ” witching hour” as it were. The external world always seems so dark and foreboding at this time. It’s always set up as a curfew time, always made to sound so dangerous, and unforgiving.

Yet the truth of the matter is that, the new day starts at midnight. It is the marking of change and although the external signs of that change in day don’t come for 6 hours or so, the TRUTH is the day starts right here.

As I consider this , I can’t help but think about the road to healing that survivors travel, and how we have made the change into a new day, even though the signs aren’t yet visible. How many of us are already past the midnight of our lives, even though we do not yet see the sun rising. How differently would we see our lives if we stopped to consider that the old day is over, it is time for a new one to begin, and the sun WILL come up on this day, just like every other day.

As I consider my life, I begin to see some early signs of the new day dawning, I have sensed the change in day, but it has not been determined how this new day will be. That is up to me, I can make this new day truly new, or I can re-live the same old days again. The important thing to know is that is MY choice, I will determine whether this day is sunny and bright, or stays as dark as the night before. What choice will you make? Will you recognize the change in days, despite the darkness that still looms, or will you stay in that darkness, waiting in vain for the light to come before you believe it’s a new day?

By: Mike McBride Feb.9, 1998

Similar Posts

  • Quick Thought #18 – Sports as an Example of The Lens We See Life Through

    Just like in sports though, sometimes it’s not about how the world works, or what mistakes we made, it’s about the other team. In our case, it’s the abuser. They did this. Healing is understanding that, and coming to grips with the fact that our lens is wrong. We’re looking at someone else’s actions and choices through a lens that only sees ourselves. We were abused, maybe when we told someone, we weren’t believed, or maybe even as adults, when we share our experiences we make others uncomfortable. But it’s not us. Other people get to make their own choices, have their own reactions, and choose who, and what, to believe.

    What we need to do, is start untying other people actions and reactions, from ourselves. The abuser chose to abuse. The people who refused to help, made that choice, and the people who still don’t believe us, have their own reasons for doing that. None of it has anything to do with us, those are other people making their own choices, playing their own game. We can do everything right, live our life to the best of our abilities and still “lose” in these interactions. It happens. It doesn’t lessen us, it shows us who these other people are, and tells us about their agendas.

    We learn from that, and move on. We do not blame ourselves for their agendas.

    It does take developing a more mature lens to view life through, and that takes time, and work. Are you up for it? Or maybe the better question, are you tired of blaming yourself?

  • Step by Step

    From a comment below: “The journey of a 1,000 miles goes step by step and starts with the first step, everything else remains locked in your imagination.” Recovering from abuse is just like that, you take each step one at a time and you don’t really know where the journey will lead you, but it…

  • |

    Let the Fault Lie Where it Should

    I was thinking earlier this week about why many victims of child abuse, or domestic violence, continue to believe they deserved what happened to them. One of the themes I very often see is actually immaturity. The reason I say that is, immature people see themselves as the center of everything that happens, mature people…

  • |

    What We Expect

    As I was sitting in the airport yesterday, I started to notice the number of people complaining about various things about air travel, and thinking to myself that yes, there are plenty of things to complain about, but some of what was being said just really wasn’t accurate. It seems to me that there are…

8 Comments

  1. What a “power-of-positive-thinking” post! I know you’re busy with the Blog Carnival being tomorrow, but I pitched it again at my blog, while I was celebrating Blog Reader Appreciation Day AND I tagged you with an award, so take a minute and come over and check it out.

  2. Mike, thanks for hosting the April Carnival and the Child Abuse Survivor forum as well. I know both take a lot of work to maintain. Thanks for caring enough to do that work. They are both valuable resources to Survivors and to others just looking for information and support. Marj, thanks to you for starting and continuing the Carnival.

  3. Thank for taking the time to comment Patricia! It always makes me feel good to know the efforts are appreciated, and doing some good!

  4. Mike,

    What a wonderful post. Taking responsibility for ourselves and making a decision to make each day a new and better day is crucial to healing. It is so easy to get lost in blame, hurt and anger. All valid emotions as long as we find a way to move through and past them into responsibility and healing.

    Thanks for bringing this one out of the vault.

    All my best,
    Tamara

  5. Okay, read through this whole post this time. I never thought about Midnight this way before. I don’t think I’ll ever look at midnight the same way as I did before. I like your idea about resurrecting old posts and I’m glad you gave this one new life for the blog carnival. Nice!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

To respond on your own website, enter the URL of your response which should contain a link to this post's permalink URL. Your response will then appear (possibly after moderation) on this page. Want to update or remove your response? Update or delete your post and re-enter your post's URL again. (Find out more about Webmentions.)