This is a quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer that I saw someone share on Twitter earlier today, and it got me thinking about abuse survivors, especially those of us who were abused within the family unit. On one hand, speaking from my own experience with the friendships I’ve developed over the years, I can honestly say that I agree with the quote. My friends (including my wife, who is my best friend as well) are a huge source of support, love and laughter in my adult life.
On the other hand, I also remember what it was like early in my adult years, when I kept people at arms distance, hard a difficult time relating to other people, and generally distrusted, and disliked, most people I came in contact with. That was a legacy of being an abused child, and it was that legacy that had to be overcome before I could really see the value of good friends.
So, the odd thing about Dr. Dyer’s statement is that even if friends are the apology for your family, you still have to overcome the abuse suffered, sometimes within that family, to truly enjoy them. That can be quite a challenge for survivors, but it’s worth going after. There truly are people in the world who are good friends, and who will be great additions to your life. Not everyone, obviously, but it’s worth it to try and find those who are.
I know that the friends I have add so much to my life, and I wouldn’t be having as much fun without them!