Another Survivor Voice Silenced – Chester BenningtonPin

Another Survivor Voice Silenced – Chester Bennington

I’m going to be honest here. I’ve never been a Linkin Park fan. I’m not really familiar with their music at all. They came along at a time in my life when my music tastes had moved away from what I like to refer to as “new” Metal, and I just never had much cause to listen to it, or be familiar with the band at all. So this week, when the news broke about the death of their singer, Chester Bennington, it didn’t really even catch my attention.

Until someone tweeted about him being a survivor of child abuse.

That got my attention, again, not because I even know who he was, but because as I looked in to it more, and saw other survivors continue to tweet and post about their experiences with his music and words, I realized that the community of survivors had lost another voice. And though it wasn’t a voice I had heard from directly, I know that the loss of any voice is a loss for all of us, especially one as public as he was.

The fact of the matter is, Chester’s voice, like any other survivor voice, is a reminder that we are not alone as a survivor of child abuse. There are so, so many survivors out there. They are all around us, we just don’t know it because it’s not something we talk about in public spaces, at school, at the office, etc. When we struggle and when we are in pain, there are many others who are having the same struggle, or have had it and come through the other side of it. We need to hear those voices. As I’ve said many, many times, there are a fair number of survivors who cannot be public for one reason or another. Some for legal reasons, others for family or even professional reasons. Still others just because they haven’t found their voice yet. It’s incumbent on those of us who can to be those voices.

Now matter what you or I may think of Chester’s music, it’s sad when any survivor voices goes silent. It’s one less voice in the chorus that is the survivor community, and the only good that can come of that is if the loss somehow inspires other voices to come forward and fill that space.

I hope that all the people who were touched by Linkin Park’s music and lyrics can turn their loss in to a determination to let others survivors, and anyone else struggling with depression, addiction, etc. know that they are not alone. His voice may be gone, but the people it reached are still here, still hearing it in his music, and still able to share with one another their own voices.

I promise you, you are not alone.

Now go share that message with others. They deserve to know that they are not alone too.

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    Leah asks a good question in the comments for that last post: Why is it so hard for us (survivors) to compliment ourselves, feel good about our work and the like?! – I too have experienced this and it is frustrating. I think a large part of the answer has to do with comfort levels….

  • |

    When it Comes to Abuse, Trafficking, and Violence, Do We Have a Race and Gender Problem?

    What I want to address, however, is how our society defines victims and how it leaves far too many people behind. The article above is a great example. How many people, if asked about sex trafficking, picture little white girls or women abducted from Target? Probably a lot. For many, the only information they’ve ever gotten about trafficking are warnings about Target or shopping mall parking lots from their Facebook friends. They don’t know how many teenage boys from broken homes, living in poverty, are pulled into being trafficked. How many gay youths, rejected by their families, fall victim to it? How many immigrant children here, with no parental supervision, are sold off by the people who should be protecting them from sexual slavery? 

    Those stories, even if they’re told, are not going to grab national headlines. They are not going to evoke world-wide outrage and sympathy. Those are things that happen to “other people”. We might even be tempted to start looking for reason why it’s their own fault, or at least the parents fault, right? 

    From a media perspective, we also have to keep this in mind. An abduction of a young white girl from her home, is a rare event. It’s actually newsworthy because it happens so rarely. When it happens, it’s shocking. A trans, minority, teen being coerced into selling themselves, with no one to turn to for protection, isn’t any of those things. A gay male teen being kicked out of their parents house and trying to make it through homelessness, is also not something that happens so rarely that there would be major news coverage of it. These things happen all of the time. So often, that they aren’t really news. 

    So, which group should we have support and services for? I’d like to vote for ALL OF THEM. But that will take educating people about the reality of who gets abused, who gets trafficked, and for us all to accept that it happens everywhere. Until we get there, and are willing to see all different types of people as victims, we will continue to fail one group or another. That’s not acceptable. 

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