Where are Teens Supposed to Gather?

Yesterday, being Halloween, brought back the age-old argument about teenagers trick-or-treating.

One thing I saw more than once on social media was that teens going out and gathering with their friends in person is exactly what we say we want, instead of on screens, so why would we tell them they are too old for it? I agree. Personally, we had a number of teens come to our house, and they were mostly delightful. Some had great costumes; others barely had any costume. All of them were polite and looked to be having a lot of fun. They appreciated my wife and me sitting outside, handing out treats, in a neighborhood that seems to have fewer houses still participating in the tradition.

As I saw one group of teens walking towards us, I thought about something else, though. Yes, this is what we tell teens to do instead of being on their phones, but if this wasn’t Halloween, how many of them would be reported as “suspicious” by neighbors, either on apps like Nextdoor or even with a call to the police? (Especially the black teenagers who came by.) As it got closer to 8 PM, it was rather dark outside; a group of teens walking would be the kind of thing that set off alarm bells for many of my neighbors. I have no doubt.

Then I remembered that plenty of other places forbid teens from gathering. Unaccompanied minors aren’t allowed at malls in the evening; they’ve been told to stay away from parks at night- too dangerous; if they are hanging around on a street corner, or doing just about anything as a group, it has to end when the sun goes down. Either it’s too dangerous for them to be there, or adults have decided they are the danger.

So, if you’re a teenager on a Saturday evening, where do you gather to talk to your friends? Online, of course. You’re not permitted to gather outside parental supervision anywhere else, despite study after study showing how vital that kind of social interaction is to developing interpersonal skills.

And now, you’re being told, or even banned, from interacting online, too.

How is this going to help the loneliness and mental health issues among teenagers?

So, let teens trick-or-treat on Halloween, but let’s also talk about creating more places where they can gather.