Observations

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    The Extreme Things Toxic Positivity Forces You To Believe

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 4 minutes

    I feel fairly certain I have never read a worse example of how certain worldviews will have to end up blaming the victim for their own suffering than this quote from an article about how we can fetishize “surviving” during difficult times, often taking more interest in things like the Holocaust:

    Recently, a textbook required for the UNC minicourse “21st Century Wellness” was skewered for suggesting—as a headline read—“Holocaust victims who died failed to find their inner strength.” The actual text included: “The people in the camps who did not tap into the strength that comes from their intrinsic worth succumbed to the brutality to which they were subjected.”

    I realize that this seems shocking that anyone would believe this, but I have a different take on it. Why wouldn’t some people believe this?

  • Quick Thought #17 – Most of Our Discomfort with Compliments Could Go Away, if it Were Common

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 2 minutes

    What occurred to me as I thought more about this study, was that both of these are easily fixable. Giving and receiving compliments would not be such an anxiety-inducing activity if we simply practiced it more often. It’s the fact that we so rarely give people compliments that makes this awkward, and when the kind words of a friend, or even a stranger, can have such an important impact on our days, and our own struggles with self-worth, this is hardly a thing that should be so rare.

    So, here’s my challenge, for myself, and for you. The next time someone does a really good job on a project, is especially good at their job, or just looks sharp in a new outfit, tell them. Even if you don’t know them very well. It will matter to them, and you’ll get to practice something that will make you a better, happier, person as well.

  • So, How Are You Doing?

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 2 minutes

    But, that’s not what I want to talk about today, because, frankly, I think we’re all talked out on the subject, or at least I feel like I’m all talked out right now. If you don’t realize that anxiety and other mental health issues are sitting heavy on all of us this year, I don’t know that there’s anything I can say that will convince you of it. I want to talk about some good things, because, why not? I want to appreciate the following:

    No matter what happens with the election, the sun rose today. It will set tonight, and rise again tomorrow. And I am here to see it.

    I am thankful for the many friends and family members we’ve been in touch with in the last few days, even if it’s just to text and say “WTF”?

    Laughter, because sometimes there’s nothing else to do but laugh, and it’s good for you.

    You are here, reading this. You’re Alive!

    Hope, that as long as there is a tomorrow for any of us, there is hope in the fact that things are always changing in the world, and in our lives.

    Love. For each other, and ourselves.

    Nature.

    The technology that lets us all check in with each other, across the world, at any time.

  • Quick Thought #16 – Good For Mark Cuban and Delonte West, but it Shouldn’t Be Like This

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 1 minute

    The story of Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban finding former player Delonte West, and picking him up at a gas station in order to arrange for him to go to rehab, is a great story. I have nothing but respect for Cuban for going out of this way to help a former player, and I…

  • Quick Thought #15 – Do what you can, it’s good for you.

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 2 minutes

    I want to share some research with you from this article: Do good, feel good: Random acts of kindness improve wellbeing, physical health The report in the journal Psychological Bulletin reviews 201 independent studies on prosocial behavior and its affect on well-being. After examining data on over 198,000 participants, Hui’s study reveals there is a modest link…

  • Cancel Culture Exists Online, It’s Just Not What You’re Expecting

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 4 minutes

    It’s enough to make you just give it all up and walk away.

    That, to me, is cancel culture. I know there’s a lot of talk about cancel culture and whether it even exists or not, but frankly, to me, the real canceling that goes on online is when the good, thoughtful and caring, people just walk away instead of being here and having their voices matter. Because they’re tired. They’re tired of the constant outrage, the constant anger directed at them for not doing, and believing, everything random people expect them to. The vitriol directed at them in direct messages, comments, and tweets for simply trying to have a conversation, from all sides. For not supporting conspiracy groups, for not using the correct words, for not advocating for exactly the same things, in exactly then same way. Because if you don’t “agree” with them and show your support, in clear, and often financial, ways, you are the enemy.

    Seriously, it gets old. It’s toxic. It’s exhausting. It makes you question why you even bother with this at all. I, for one, don’t need this in my life on a regular basis. No one does. So, instead of having real conversations about real issues, and doing real education, we’re walking away and letting the worst kinds of people win the internet.

    I’m tired, but I’m not ready to do that. If 19 years of working to educate people, and let anyone know that they are not alone as a survivor, or as a person dealing with mental health issues, isn’t enough for you, and you can’t understand that all of the things I do online to make this happen I do in my spare time, for free, then you can go somewhere else.

    Take all of your fake outrage and fake “facts” with you too.