|

My Holiday Survival Tip

We all know that, as survivors and just about anyone else, the holidays can be fraught with all sorts of bad memories, awkward time spent with family, depression, and mourning for the family we never had. I’ve seen a number of folks listing tips for surviving the holidays, and I absolutely encourage all of you to do whatever you need to do to take care of yourselves during this time, and always.

In light of that, I thought I’d share something that has helped me. I can sum up the attitude in a sentence I spoke to my wife last night regarding something outside the scope of this, but somewhat relevant too.

“You take care of the people who take care of you.”

What that means to me, is that I spend a lot of time during December trying to fine small gifts, tokens, or other things I can do that will brighten the days for the people I most care about. Instead of dreading all of the things there are to dread about the holidays, or spending my time hoping for things that I’ll probably end up being disappointed about, I try very hard to concern myself with showing appreciation to the people who deserve it. I make sure and spend time with my wife, and allow her to enjoy all the things about the holidays that she always has enjoyed. I spend time going  through the holiday cards my wife designs for us each year and figure out which one each of the people on my list would appreciate the most. I make time to have lunch with friends I need to catch up with. I buy small gifts for friends, not so much for the gift itself, but to show them that they’re important to me, and that in the midst of holiday craziness I thought about them for a few minutes.

Usually, by the time I’ve done all these things, like now as we close in on Christmas day, I’ve been so rewarded by the smiles, hugs, and appreciation of the people who are really important to me, that the rest is easy. I know where my support is, I know who’s important to me, and whatever comes from the next week or two is nothing compared to the strength I have within myself, and gather from the awesome people in my life, even those of you who I only know online.

Similar Posts

  • | |

    ACE Awareness – Good, Bad, Both?

    If you’re not familiar with the now somewhat famous ACE studies, what we are talking about here are studies that seem to show that the more Adverse Childhood Experiences you had, the more likely it is that you will deal with bad outcomes in adulthood. The original studies got a lot of media attention, deservedly,…

  • Happy Holidays

    I know for many survivors this time of year can be difficult and filled with stress as we navigate the treacherous waters that constitute our families, so I just want to take a moment and wish you all well, and hope that we all remember to take care of ourselves!

  • Good Advice

    How to help someone with a mental health concern. I especially agree with the first rule, “Offer your Friendship and Support”. You’d be surprised how effective you can be just by being available to listen. It may not seem like much, but it is so infrequent that someone actually takes the time to really stop…

  • The One Constant

    I wrote this in an email the other day and after reading it again in the reply something about it struck me. I didn’t mean for it to be a deep philosophical statement, but it sort of is. (I’m blaming the lack of caffeine). “The one constant in life is change” I realized in reading…

  • Struggles

    One of the common struggles for me is the feeling I have that no matter how happy I am right now, I’m inevitably going to do something eventually to screw it up and lose that happiness. That no matter how much someone loves me, I’m always “this” far away from not having it any longer….

One Comment

  1. Wiser words couldn’t have been shared.

    By focusing on what makes you feel good in turn makes others feel good, and in the end it makes for a more positive experience all around.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

To respond on your own website, enter the URL of your response which should contain a link to this post's permalink URL. Your response will then appear (possibly after moderation) on this page. Want to update or remove your response? Update or delete your post and re-enter your post's URL again. (Find out more about Webmentions.)