Last weekend’s US Army monthly newsletter covered a December 2011 article regarding sexual abuse in the US Military and whether any progress is forthcoming over the issue. If the link can be separated from the newsletter you should be able to read it here.
Otherwise if this link ever fails, go to “Politico”‘s index page, the “Opinion” tab, and click back through the archives for the 8th December 2011 article.
I had to learn resiliency later in life. I defined it as the knowledge that even if something didn’t go well, if I screwed up at work, did something embarrassing, or said something dumb, that I would still be OK. That is what gave me the confidence to socially engage, rather than the avoidance I had grown accustomed to. Had I felt safe enough as a child, I might have learned that I would be OK at a younger age. That would have made a world of difference in my early adult years, which were a mess when it came to mental health.
I didn’t feel safe as a child. I didn’t grow up knowing that I would be OK even if something bad happened. Bad things happened, and I wasn’t OK because I was alone with them. There was no safe place. I had to learn how to be my safe place. That’s what those kids who struggle with distress and social avoidance are trying to do. Having safety as a child would go a long way to help.
I also want you to remember that, as far as I can tell, this study was done regarding adult women being harassed. Imagine how much the victim-blaming in those cases would impact a sexual abuse victim? As a child, maybe we didn’t have any chance to make an accusation, but as an adult we could, except look at what happens to people who come forward years later? Why would I put myself through that trauma?
And if you’re a male victim of sexual abuse, or even assault as an adult? Yeah, you get the extra burden of proving you didn’t want it too.
This all stems from a complete misunderstanding of trauma, and the dynamics involved in going public with our stories. To too many people in society, if we don’t report it right when it happens, then coming forward later is just proof that it didn’t happen and we have some other motive for making the accusation.
Until that goes away, there will continue to be millions of silent victims, and who knows how many predators not being found out.
A month ago five more people were charged with using Facebook and Twitter in April 2012 to name a Welsh woman who was raped by a football player. That group trial began at Prestatyn Magistrates’ Court today and we’ll bring you the outcome of the case when it concludes. The Belfast Telegraph has the updated story…
Chris Langham is a British actor who downloaded child abuse images six years ago, and was convicted and served time for for this crime after being cleared of other allegations. He’s back in a new film and this subject was discussed on daytime TV show The Wright Stuff as to whether the film would suffer…
“Symptoms of Emotional Neglect Symptoms of childhood emotional neglect that show up in adults may include (but are not limited to): “Numbing out” or being cut off from one’s feelings Feeling like there’s something missing, but not being sure what it is Feeling hollow inside Being easily overwhelmed or discouraged Low self-esteem Perfectionism Pronounced sensitivity…
What we see there is that mental health problems can create debt. When we cannot work, our healthcare costs skyrocket, and we can find ourselves in a poor financial situation. That poor financial situation creates more stress and emotional labor, contributing to mental health issues.
Whether the mental health problem or financial struggle came first doesn’t matter. Once we are in the cycle, it will continue round and round.
That’s what cycles do.
