This Week’s Links (weekly)
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On Marrying a Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse – Shonna Milliken Humphrey – The Atlantic
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How to Find Someone to Talk to When You Can’t Afford Therapy
Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.
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Sharing – The Way We Show Up
How we show up for other people matters. We can provide that place of safety in which they can heal and flourish. Too often, we don’t, though. We don’t know what to do, so we don’t show up. We don’t understand the importance of showing up, even if it’s not perfect, just to let people know that they are not alone in difficult situations. Everything is harder when you go through it alone, so show up for your people.Â
Link – Shifting Your Perspective to Notice Your Progress
All of this. “You may not be where you want to be in life, but if you’ve made progress, any progress, take a moment today to remember it, celebrate it, and learn from it because acknowledging your successes and building off your progress can really help you move forward.” So, so many survivors are stuck…
Sharing – The Psycho-Physiology of Relationships: What You Don’t Know
This is a powerful statement.
“Relationships are at the root of mental health in every way.”
For abuse survivors, we know this, even if we don’t always think about it. It’s the damage from abuse at the hands of another person that has such a huge impact on our mental health. It’s the reason when we talk about it occurring at the hands of a family member of loved one that other people struggle to believe us. That the relationship would be the source of abuse is unthinkable to people with good relationships.
But, we can also turn that statement on it’s head as well. It’s relationships that can undo that mental health damage that was done by abuse too.
Sharing – Other People Don’t Think You’re a Mess
The key is to have some compassion for yourself, similar to the compassion you might have for someone else in a vulnerable situation. When you can do that, suddenly what the other person does isn’t as important, you’ve given yourself grace, and acceptance.
As childhood abuse survivors, of course, this is tricky. Self-compassion is not generally one of our strengths. How could it be? All our lives we’ve been told that bad things happen either to bad people, or for a reason, and we’ve had something horrible happen to us, so we must be broken in some way to have had that experience. Didn’t we all think that way at one point or another? How could we not?
