The Guardian, separate to the NCCL story, also ran a question/problem page article from someone wishing to tell their mother about the historical child abuse they sufffered. That article is here with some interesting comments that follow the counsellor’s answer.
The Psych Approach – NYTimes.com ” Childhood stress can have long lasting neural effects, making it harder to exercise self-control, focus attention, delay gratification and do many of the other things that contribute to a happy life.” tags: CA Blog Against Child Abuse – September 2012 Edition tags: CA Sibling Abuse – Children Abusing Other…
In a move reflecting the type of deal received by the kidnapper of Shawn Hornbeck with Missouri legal authorities, the kidnappers of Jaycee Lee Dugard are expected to make full confessions to police in Sacramento, California. The nominal sentences could range up to 440 years for Philip Garrido and 241 years for his wife Nancy,…
Look, if you work at a non-profit, you do so for a reason, and that reason is usually tied to the work that the organization does. It’s something you believe in, feel passionate about, and in most cases agree to work for a lower salary to be part of. It’s a massive part of your identity.
Double all of that when the organization works on behalf of kids.
So imagine, if you will, a scenario where you have so much of your own identity tied into the good work done by you and your coworkers, and someone comes along and claims that actually, there are kids being harmed in that environment, not helped at all.
Are we all so sure we wouldn’t at least hesitate and consider for just a moment, that we’d be better off ignoring that and continuing the “good work” on behalf of kids?
I can believe that happens. I can understand how it happens. I can understand how crushing it would be to have something you believed in that strongly, and have part of your team be accused of something so heinous.
But we have to fight that, and make sure that the work we think we are doing on behalf of children, is the whole truth of what is going on in the organization. We cannot afford to lose ourselves, and our better judgment, to our passion for the work. We have to stay level-headed and aware.
Those kids deserve that, and the good work you want your organization to continue doing, requires it.
I grew up in a world where having my friends and other parents think I was gay seemed worse than just continuing to be abused. Think about that for a minute. Think about what we tell boys about being a man and how society reacts to men who share that they were sexually abused as a child? Is there anything about it that screams “Tell your story. We support you!”.
There are some small pockets of that online and in certain circles, but it’s going to also come with a lot of questions about why you didn’t fight, how you’re destined to now be an abuser, that you enjoyed it, etc.
Female victims of almost all ages will get asked about what they were wearing, how much they drank, etc. That’s wrong.
Male victims will get our own set of questions, mostly about why we didn’t fight, why we were so weak, are we gay? That’s equally as wrong.
The article below describes how this can happen, mostly focused on several factors. One, things change. The family’s circumstances change over the years, your parents change over the years, and so an older or younger sibling might have been raised differently than we were. Also, we are different. Some kids’ personalities mesh differently with their parents compared to their siblings. That’s all pretty normal.Â
I want to talk about childhood abuse, especially why it can seem like our siblings don’t understand when we tell them about our abuse. One of the things that becomes clear as you read the link is that kids might grow up in the same biological family but not necessarily in the same circumstances.
Received an email earlier today and wanted to pass it along for any survivors in New Zealand who might be interested in helping out. My name is Marilyn Kelly and I am putting filming a documentary in 2012 looking at the very high rate of child abuse in New Zealand. I want to dispel the…
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Guardian Historical CSA Question: http://t.co/fQdRwNwibc