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Sharing – Stop Listening To These 5 Pieces Of Advice That Can Harm Your Mental Health

Abuse survivors have heard a few of these. They make me cringe when I hear them, especially this one:

‘Family is everything.’

How many survivors have been told to stop talking about their abuse, to forgive their abuser, to coexist with their abuser, all in the name of family unity? I know too many who have found themselves sacrificed on the altar of this myth. They’ve been silenced, ignored, and suffered further trauma in the name of keeping the family peace so that their abuser can exist comfortably in the family.

Many have decided to cut off contact with their families. I can’t imagine how difficult that decision would be. I can’t imagine how much further harm we do to them when we insist that nothing is as important as family.

We could also talk about the damage done to children and adults when we believe one of the other pieces of advice in the article below: that divorce is always wrong. How many children grew up in violent, abusive households because one of their parents couldn’t get out or were encouraged to stay in that abusive relationship by people who didn’t think divorce was acceptable?

How many of them died? I know a few kids who were orphaned as a result of domestic abuse. I’ve heard stories of kids who witnessed the death of their parents in a murder/suicide act of violence. Do we think that trauma is better than letting people get divorced? Yeah, we need to stop insisting that this is true.

What other pieces of advice should survivors feel free to ignore?

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