One of the best things my therapist did for me those many years ago, was help me recognize that the way my mind worked served me well during childhood, but as an adult, it would only limit me and keep me on a path to failure. She then began the process of helping me learn how to think and act differently when it came to stress and relationships. So many survivors have never had the opportunity to do that, and are still in jail:
During an experience of abuse, your resourceful young self used coping strategies to try and protect yourself from the pain. These behaviors served you at the time. They were your army of protection against the abuse.
However, when you continue to use these behaviors as an adult, you become your own eternal jailer. These strategies, which I call the 4 D’s, keep you locked up inside the invisible cage of abuse. They are the bars that make up the four walls of the cage. They keep you boxed into abuse.
Photo by afri.