Samantha’s article about grief has a lot in common with some of the things I’ve been saying about abuse, and other trauma, specifically this idea:
“Society creates the perception that all that is needed after a loss is for the individual to take a little time to breathe — and then get back to work. It is as if people will only tolerate grieving for a fixed period of time. After that it is time to “shake it off.” No. That is not how it works.”
The truth of that matter is, as she goes on to talk about in more detail, is that this idea is really just a sign of people who are wholly uncomfortable with pain, grief, suffering, etc. There’s no room in their worldview for patiently sitting with pain and grief, only moving past it.
It’s tempting to just move on from someone’s pain, to want them to be better so that we don’t have to be in that painful space with them. It’s also incredibly shallow. I hope that you can manage more depth than that when people need you.