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Shared Links (weekly) Feb 18, 2024

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  • Book Review of Sorts – Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away

    For many survivors, their definition of healed automatically becomes a goal that can never be reached. We should quit trying to “be the person I was before the abuse” because it’s impossible. By setting that as our pass/fail goal, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of falling short, instead of a lifetime of celebrating the gap between where we started and where we are today. We also never find a better goal that is more realistic.

    Please, take a good look at how you are defining healed. More importantly, don’t lose sight of the amount of healing and growth that you’ve already done. Be proud of it. This is your life, it’s not a pass/fail exam. It’s so much bigger than that.

  • Sharing – How the Stress of the COVID-19 Pandemic Scrambles Your Brain

    It’s not just you feeling drained, and unable to concentrate. “If you know what’s coming, your brain can prepare you to deal with it. If you don’t know but there’s a possibility of harm, your brain gets vigilant, and overactive trying to guess the most likely outcome and execute a coping strategy. Because the best…

  • Sharing – The Mental Illness Recovery Paradox

    It took me a long time to be comfortable with what happened. Most of that was internal, the embarrassment of being the guy who had public mental health issues and spent a long time in therapy, and trying to build a new life. Part of it was also watching people be uncomfortable in my presence. I didn’t have a choice about who knew about it, and I learned to embrace it as part of my story. That didn’t happen immediately.

  • Links I’m Sharing (weekly)

    Breaking the cycle of adverse childhood experiences and the culture of silence Is the Answer to All Our Stress and Illness More Kindness? – Maybe not all, but it wouldn’t hurt us. What Helps When You’re Suicidal – From Those Who Have Been There For kids who face trauma, good neighbors or teachers can save…

  • Sharing – But first, we need to talk about it

    We have gotten better at discussing mental health over the last couple of years, and one thing that has become clear is how broken that system is. How underfunded and under-resourced mental health services are and how many people are forced to go without them.

    We wouldn’t know all this if we didn’t start talking about it. Hopefully, this increased attention brings about real change, not a return to not talking about it. The subject of child abuse is still considered a “downer” that people don’t want to discuss. So we don’t, and we don’t spend much time and energy as a society finding solid solutions. The problem just gets worse in silence, and the people living with that kind of trauma live in silence without the things they need.

  • Link – How Cool Dudes Become Grumpy Old Men

    The parallels between what we see when we look at “grurmpy old men”, and what it looks like when any man is dealing with undiagnosed depression are pretty stark. “It’s difficult to discuss mental health issues with a person who believes it is a sign of weakness. Who believes that no matter what problems you…

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