Sharing – You Don’t Need a Reason

I spent years struggling with this truth:

Doing something for yourself is a perfectly moral thing to do.

You don’t need a reason to change your life; you don’t need to justify your personal decisions.

It’s not selfish to follow a dream. You’re not a narcissist for looking after yourself.

https://www.yearofmentalhealth.com/p/you-dont-need-a-reason

I’m not going to bike across country, but I know many a survivor who has struggled with the idea that we are free to spend time on something simply because it brings us joy. Joy is in short supply these days, and if there is an activity that creates it for you, that is the best self-care you can practice.

As a survivor, I think we spent so much time trying to make sure the rest of the world was content because we were in danger when they weren’t. If you spent much time in an evangelical church, you might also struggle with the idea that you can do something because you enjoy it. I spent many years after surviving abuse believing that it was selfish to do so. My time was too valuable to waste on something that didn’t grow the church. Never mind the inevitable burnout; that was only a sign that I wasn’t doing enough or having enough faith. Hobbies were only acceptable if they could be part of a group activity that served the church’s purposes. Having outside interests was suspicious.

Any joy I might have gotten from something was unimportant.

I still struggle to give myself space to do things that bring me joy, but I have also come to realize that a life without joy is one I cannot survive. I almost didn’t once. I won’t make that mistake again.