So, maybe Steven’s suggestion to start with a shower meditation might work for some of you who struggle like me. I’m going to try it, assuming I remember to actually do it instead of rushing to get finished and on to the next thing!
How do you incorporate mindfulness or meditation into your daily activities? Does it help you?
There is some good advice in the article about how to create, and maintain, healthy boundaries with a variety of toxic parent “types”, but I will always fall back on one fact of life as a survivor of childhood abuse, we came out of childhood with no idea of what a boundary is, let alone why we would create one. We were never given the opportunity to learn or practice this skill.
It’s OK if it takes us a minute to figure it out before we get it right.
Toxic positivity & victim blaming women – It’s a short drive from “everything happens for a reason” to “you deserved that”. Just no to all of it.
Trauma-informed care in mental health: what should it look like
‘I Don’t Want To Be A Burden’: On Black Men, Suicide And How To Be A Safe Space
You Are Not Alone in Your Grief, No Matter How ‘Messy’ It Is
How to Cope with Feeling Off and Getting Back to Your ‘‘Normal’’
Healing From Trauma Means Cleaning Up the Mess You Didn’t Make
I came across this video of Emma Jean Taylor’s TedTalk about child abuse the other day and wanted to share it with you. First because, as the title of the video says, we teach kids to be wary of strangers all the time but we don’t teach them to also be wary of people they know, despite the fact that up to 90% of sexual abuse victims know the abuser.
I fell into that category. I remember learning all about windowless vans and strangers with candy. No one ever told me that someone within my own family could also be a sexual abuser.
I know this is a struggle for me. I notice every mistake I make. I dwell on them much longer than is healthy. When I do something well, even to the point of getting complimented? I forget it relatively quickly.
That’s not a good balance. I know I’m not alone in that. So what do I do?
It’s the step where you can truly understand at the deepest level that what happened was not your fault. Many a survivor will say that without ever really feeling it, and you can tell because they will say that and immediately begin talking about how weak or needy they were as a child. As if that explains why they were abused, when in fact the only explanation necessary is that someone decided to abuse them.
