The same thing is true of adults, and this is why the lack of places where we can talk about difficult things without someone threatening to “ban” sites is also dangerous. We are cutting off the community that so many people desperately need.
Thirty years later, I’ve done a lot of healing. I feel good about the life I’ve built and the people I’ve been building it with. I’ve found a way to want to continue living this life, and I’ve found ways to give back that fit into my life. What I don’t have is an exact timeline of childhood events that include all of the details of what happened to me.
It turns out I didn’t need that to get here. I have enough to know what happened. I have enough that I can share my “story” as I remember it.
That’s plenty.
What we don’t hear a lot about are the details, specifically, about what happens when the treatment resources don’t exist to meet the need. We may not think we are rounding up unhoused people and putting them in jails, but where do we think they will go when there aren’t enough treatment options? That’s going to include a lot of kids escaping abusive homes. Other kids end up hanging around the ER waiting for treatment if they aren’t in a penal facility already. Plenty of others remain in dangerous situations while they and their parents stay and search for somewhere to get treatment.
Doing what we can to lift people out of poverty, homelessness, food insecurity, etc., is mental healthcare.
Saving a life is not about having a hotline, though they do help. (If you’re struggling, you can find a list of resources here.) It’s not about offering advice like “touch grass” or exercise more. It’s about being in a community that will sit with us at our worst and reminds us that we can get through this because we are not going through it alone.
Too many of us are incapable of creating that community for our friends and family members. If we don’t, who will?
If we want a happier world, we need to stop finding reasons to avoid people and find ways to connect with people, even those who are not like us.
