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Sharing – ‘They Aren’t Who You Think They Are’

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Reading Time: 4 minutes

If nothing else, I hope you’ll go read the article for two reasons. One, to recognize how difficult it can be to come forward, and have leaders dismiss your claims, so that you know how not to run any organizations that you and your kids are involved with, and two, to recognize how certain cultural values create a space for abusers. Churches rely on charismatic leaders, but without proper safeguards and oversight, you’ll attract some very charismatic evildoers too. Also, understand that environments with such a strong focus on sexual purity, create a culture where kids are desperate to not do the “worst thing” and are susceptible to this kind of grooming, not to mention a lot of shame around a very natural subject. That shame only increases the secrecy around sex, and again creates a place where secrets can thrive. DO NOT BE A PLACE WHERE SECRETS THRIVE!… Read More

Shared Links (weekly) – Dec. 6, 2020

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Reading Time: 1 minute

Teach Your Kids the Red Flags of Online Predators

Put your mental health first this holiday season

A Digital Resource Toolkit for Prioritizing Your Mental Health

How to talk to loved ones about their mental health

Sometimes We Don’t Show Concern Until It’s Too Late

Toxic Positivity Won’t Help With Depression

Trauma unmakes the world of the self. Can stories repair it?

Send a Text, Save a Life, mental health support

How I Deal With Dissociation as an Abuse Survivor… Read More

Sharing – How to Stop Blaming Sexual Harassment Victims

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Reading Time: 2 minutes

I also want you to remember that, as far as I can tell, this study was done regarding adult women being harassed. Imagine how much the victim-blaming in those cases would impact a sexual abuse victim? As a child, maybe we didn’t have any chance to make an accusation, but as an adult we could, except look at what happens to people who come forward years later? Why would I put myself through that trauma?

And if you’re a male victim of sexual abuse, or even assault as an adult? Yeah, you get the extra burden of proving you didn’t want it too.

This all stems from a complete misunderstanding of trauma, and the dynamics involved in going public with our stories. To too many people in society, if we don’t report it right when it happens, then coming forward later is just proof that it didn’t happen and we have some other motive for making the accusation.

Until that goes away, there will continue to be millions of silent victims, and who knows how many predators not being found out.… Read More

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