Yes, I believe in the importance of self-care. I will encourage it for everyone. It helps. But it can only help so much. Until this becomes a society that equally cares about everyone and actively seeks to offer care for everyone, self-care can only go so far. We need to recognize that and spend as much time promoting that as we do self-care.
We never get to see the thoughts of other people if they choose not to share them. We see ALL of our own thoughts, however. That puts us at a disadvantage when it comes to deciding what we “deserve” compared to others. We might do well to assume that everyone has the same kind of thoughts that we do at times because we all do. We just don’t talk about them and share them with the world. (Most of us anyway)
And, we all deserve self-care.
Look, the empty cup analogy is a good one for people who feel the need to put aside their own care to take care of others, but the truth of the matter is that is only part of the equation. We need rest, we need food, and we need self-care because we need those things. There doesn’t need to be another reason, and we sure don’t need to “earn” them.
The way to start believing in yourself is to have experiences you can look back on and draw strength from. When I feel anxious about something at work, meeting new people, moving, or other stressful situations, it helps tremendously to recall when I have already successfully done those things.
Or, sometimes it helps to remember the times I wasn’t successful, but I survived nonetheless. That can also be a huge relief, the memory that these failures, or accidents, won’t kill me.
I know this is a struggle for me. I notice every mistake I make. I dwell on them much longer than is healthy. When I do something well, even to the point of getting complimented? I forget it relatively quickly.
That’s not a good balance. I know I’m not alone in that. So what do I do?
As many of you know, we got hit by a hurricane in our area of the world last week. We were lucky compared to many, but things have not been normal, by any stretch. Lack of power, gas shortages, and curfews don’t leave a lot of room for “typical” self-care routines. It’s hard to have a spa day when all the spas are closed, after all. Self-care in that kind of situation might look more like cleaning up the storm debris, or getting sleep when you could.
Remember, self-care is not one type of thing, as Melanie says acts of self-care are acts that help you feel better and less anxious, even if they don’t always look the same!
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