Two Part Series on Healing the Shame of Child Sexual Abuse

Two Part Series on Healing the Shame of Child Sexual Abuse

You have to see what happened for what it is. That includes seeing that it was a decision made by someone else and not something you deserved or attracted to yourself in any way. You were a child. Your abuser made a decision to abuse you sexually. That’s the truth of it. 

That is the start of healing.

Sharing – ‘My Husband Was Hospitalized, I Didn’t Tell People Why’
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Sharing – ‘My Husband Was Hospitalized, I Didn’t Tell People Why’

Imagine your spouse going into a hospital for surgery or an injury and having no help navigating that, and also trying to take care of a 12-year-old daughter without anyone else there to take care of a meal or two or transport your kid to school and other events. That’s the reality Amy, and many other families, find themselves in because we still live in a world where we aren’t supposed to admit to having mental health issues and where those are the kinds of secrets you keep within the immediate family only.

Sharing – Growth Requires Unlearning as Much as Learning

Sharing – Growth Requires Unlearning as Much as Learning

As children in an abusive situation, we may have learned a lot of things that helped us survive that situation. Outside of that situation, as adults, however, it may be time to unlearn some of those things.

For example, we can’t learn to trust a person as an adult until we first unlearn that “fact” we took from childhood that no one was to be trusted. We can’t learn to love ourselves until we unlearn the blame and shame we took upon ourselves due to the abuse.

Sharing – Life-Changing Benefits of Self-Compassion

Sharing – Life-Changing Benefits of Self-Compassion

Child abuse can be all about shame and guilt. Because the entire world wants to believe that things are fair when we grow up, trying to square that belief with what happened to us as children naturally leads us to believe it’s our fault.

You can’t have self-compassion and also believe the abuse you suffered was your fault. We have to get past this idea that the world is fair and we get what we deserve. It’s simply not true. We have to be willing to have the same compassion for ourselves that we would have for another crime victim.

Everyone deserves to have some compassion for others and learn how to have compassion for themselves.

Sharing – 10 Signs You’re Healing From Childhood Trauma

Sharing – 10 Signs You’re Healing From Childhood Trauma

The act of going from being silent and ashamed of your trauma to talking about it without shame is not something that just happens. It takes time, and it’s a step-by-step process. You won’t one day get out of bed ready to address 1,000 people and tell your story. You’ll find one person you feel safe enough with to share your story, probably shaking with nerves. You’ll be afraid of how they will react, you might even feel a little ashamed but you’re starting to realize that the shame shouldn’t be yours.

That’s a victory. That’s a step in the healing direction. Celebrate it instead of kicking yourself for not being ready to speak to a large audience. You can’t get there without these intermediate steps. So see them as signs of healing.