Support

  • Sharing – Psychological and Physiological Power of Validation

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

    Note what it says, words like listening and acceptance. Note also what it doesn’t say, like anything about fixing things or changing their feelings, etc.

    I talk often on here about simply being there. Sitting with someone who is struggling. Validation is all about that, and as you can read further, validating someone is maybe one of the best things you can do to keep open lines of communication, help them feel valued, and not dismiss their emotions.

  • Sharing – America’s Lack of Bereavement Leave Is Causing a Grief Crisis

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 3 minutes

    So people who are grieving do it privately. They barely function through the workday and then go home and grieve by themselves. They are left to process grief without any community and the support that provides. They are left to feel like there is something wrong with them because they still miss their loved ones as if that is somehow not normal.

    It is normal, we don’t simply forget the people we lose or the tragedies we experience and then move on. It sticks with you. You feel it again on birthdays and holidays, in places where you are reminded of them when you want to pick up the phone and tell them some exciting news. That doesn’t just go away after a set amount of time.

    We should stop pretending that it should and start making sure everyone has some space to grieve, no matter how long it’s been.

  • Youth Mental Health – A Crisis, but Ending Pandemic Rules Won’t End the Crisis

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 3 minutes

    There’s been a lot of talk about youth mental health during the pandemic, including a number of prominent voices raising the alarm about this crisis. There have been almost as many voices suggesting that ending things like lockdowns, mask and vaccine mandates, and just getting “back to normal” will fix this mental health crisis.

    I am not one of those voices.

    Now let me be clear, I’m not saying that the pandemic hasn’t played a number on mental health for all of us, it clearly has. But, the crisis in mental health for everyone, but especially young people, existed long before COVID-19.

  • Sharing – What American Mental Health Care Is Missing

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    We actually know the things that can offer hope, we just don’t have a system that can deliver them. Our system is broken, the medical community can offer medicine and some limited treatment options but the day-to-day support and the work to reach a state of something more than symptom reduction doesn’t actually exist for most people.

    This has to change. Go read more of what he has to say, I think for many of you it will seem familiar, but maybe provide some hope that we are not alone in seeing it.

    Now if we can just find enough of us to care enough to fix it. We should all want to, mental health issues will happen to someone we all know and care about, eventually. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to offer a system that does not involve homelessness and prison time for far too many?

  • Sharing – Self-help resources can encourage victim-blaming of individuals with depression, study finds

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    There’s no language in this belief system for “some other person decided to hurt you for no reason at all and it had nothing to do with you”. There can’t be any language for that, because the entire system is self-centered.

    The world isn’t. So please stop telling people who have suffered real harm that it’s all just lessons to learn, that simply excuses away harmful behavior, provides overly simple “fixes” for mental health issues, and places the blame for it square on the victim. That’s no way to support anyone.

  • Sharing – Talking Openly About Anxiety

    ByMikeM Reading Time: 2 minutes

    I recently had a conversation with someone dealing with anxiety and trying to learn more about it. She desperately needs to know that what she’s experiencing is something that many other people are going through and have gone through. So, I’ve told her about my anxiety. I’ve told her about the times my brain just won’t turn off, and my heart beats faster for no apparent reason at all. I’ve told her about the days when I struggle to remember things because my mind is racing so fast it doesn’t process things I just heard.

    My wife has been there for those conversations. She’s heard me talk about things I’ve not really told her because I don’t want her to worry. Does she worry now? Maybe. Does it really matter to me?

    Yes, it does. I don’t want her to worry, but I’ll trade that for letting someone we both care about know that they are not alone. This is why we need to talk about it. No one should feel alone and ashamed about any mental health issues they may be having. There are just too many others having the same ones for there to be room for judgment instead of support.