I talk about boundaries often. I know a few other folks in the survivor community who also talk about them often. It’s not a coincidence. Learning about healthy boundaries and how to keep them is a vital part of healing.
The article below describes how this can happen, mostly focused on several factors. One, things change. The family’s circumstances change over the years, your parents change over the years, and so an older or younger sibling might have been raised differently than we were. Also, we are different. Some kids’ personalities mesh differently with their parents compared to their siblings. That’s all pretty normal.
I want to talk about childhood abuse, especially why it can seem like our siblings don’t understand when we tell them about our abuse. One of the things that becomes clear as you read the link is that kids might grow up in the same biological family but not necessarily in the same circumstances.
Those who have suffered childhood trauma often have shame that we cannot place. Sometimes because our memories are foggy and we can’t place them, maybe more often because shame became part of us as we grew up. Our very development occurred in the middle of shame, so much so that we aren’t even aware of it.
It just is. It has always been and always will be.
Except that’s not correct at all.
And if you feel strongly that you want to write a book, start a site like this, and hit social media and tell the world, make sure you are prepared for all of it. Because once it’s out, you don’t control it any longer.
Once you’re sure though, tell your story for all the people who aren’t ready yet.