Shared Links (weekly) Nov. 10, 2024
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Sharing – It Took Me Decades to Feel Angry
Whatever that looked like for you, we know that survivors often have difficulty feeling emotions, let alone expressing them. None of this is good for our long-term healing and I hope you’ll read Andrea’s story and how she approaches anger now. I think we need a reminder that we can heal to the point where we feel our emotions, and live with them in a healthy manner.
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Sharing – The Lesser-Known Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse
The last thing I want you to consider as you read the article below is that some of these effects are contradictory. For example, sexual abuse can cause hyper-arousal and sex addiction, while also causing survivors to not want to be touched. Two different survivors, despite suffering from similar abuse, may have opposite reactions to that abuse, while others may have some combination of both of the contradictory effects. (For example, that same person who is hyper-aroused may also cringe at certain kinds of sexual touch.)
The point is that this list of possible effects is helpful. It will help you understand some of what is going on with your partner. It’s not a replacement for open conversation about the effects that individual is dealing with.
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Sharing – The Importance of Role-Models for Survivors of Abuse
I’d much rather have some difficult conversations and for all of us to be uncomfortable with the topic than for that kid to feel that alone.
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Sharing – Why I Stayed Silent
The central question of the article below is a good one: Why Do victims of nonsexual violent crimes usually involve authorities while most rape survivors remain silent? Most of the article is about adult sexual assault, but she points out that children who are sexually abused face this same question for similar reasons. Those reasons…
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Before you can commit to self-care there is a prerequisite
Even just the headline made me think of those days when I was in my 20s, dealing with the trauma and shame of my childhood and the major depression that I was not getting proper treatment for. I didn’t take care of myself. I didn’t even meet the basic needs of sleep, food, etc., because, in my mind, I wasn’t worth it. I didn’t deserve to live a healthy, content life. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand what self-care was or why it was necessary; I lacked a belief that I deserved it.
