Take care of yourself

Before you can commit to self-care there is a prerequisite

There’s a lot of talk on social media and everywhere else about self-care. It’s an important part of maintaining your mental and physical health, taking time to do the things that are good for you, whatever they might be.

I was recently reminded of a time when I could not conduct self-care and the seemingly simple reason why following that advice was impossible for me.

Taking care of yourself requires you to believe you are worth taking care of.

See the article –“Self-care” means looking after yourself. It means treating yourself as person who deserves care.

Even just the headline made me think of those days when I was in my 20s, dealing with the trauma and shame of my childhood and the major depression that I was not getting proper treatment for. I didn’t take care of myself. I didn’t even meet the basic needs of sleep, food, etc., because, in my mind, I wasn’t worth it. I didn’t deserve to live a healthy, content life. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand what self-care was or why it was necessary; I lacked a belief that I deserved it.

This is what shame looks like in many survivors. It’s a lie. We have nothing to be ashamed of; we were child victims of a crime. But we often don’t believe that. We believe that we somehow deserve what happened to us. After all, don’t good things come to good people and bad things to bad people? We must have done some pretty horrible things to have deserved to be abused as children.

It’s all a lie. We didn’t do anything. Our abusers made all the decisions and took all the actions. Bad things happen regardless of how good we are because people do bad things. We are 100% deserving of self-care.

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