I finally got an acknowledgement of that donation I sent Prevent Child Abuse America. The letter I got from them last night thanks me for the donation they received on Feb. 17. I think maybe they should have a talk with the company who processes the online donations for them. I made that donation way back on Jan 1!
Still, it’s good to know they did get it!
Pin Each year, around the Thanksgiving Holiday in the US, I try and write something about thankfulness and remind survivors that no matter what, we all have something to be thankful for, even if it’s just that we are still here, surviving, with hope for the future. This year, however, I’ve been struggling with the idea,…
Pin I discovered a relatively new site yesterday and while I don’t know much about the author, I thought this particular part of what it’s like to finally tell someone about your abuse was really insightful. However, I also felt extremely guilty. This was a “forever secret” and I broke it. A year later, and I…
Pin Seven years ago, I wrote about today being my 10th wedding anniversary. At the time, I had been living in South Carolina for almost 6 months; my wife had been in Ohio during that time, but would finally join me in October after finishing her last work commitment and traveling to Greece. That wasn’t necessarily…
Pin More importantly, though, is to understand what we say to each other because, as someone who was abused as a child and dealt with severe depression for years, I know what it’s like when people around you see you as less-than. I know what it feels like to feel that way internally, and that is part of the abuse and depression, but it was also part of society that told me that. The part that got uncomfortable any time I was around, or who gets on podcasts and blogs to talk about the damaged goods that abuse survivors are, or mocks “crazy people.” The solution to that is not to find another group that you consider to be beneath you; it’s to see the value in every life. To recognize the humanity in all of us and make political decisions that lift the humanity in all of us.
So here it goes, switching the weblog over to the other host so I can continue using FTP to get to it. I realize now that I haven’t been writing here much, I guess I’m just not really having any big abuse issues that are worth discussing. In some ways that’s an excellent thing, but…
Pin The context for this quote is a handful of stories where someone felt ashamed of an event or something that they’d allowed people to believe about them that wasn’t true. Marisa goes on to talk about how when we have something we won’t discuss, it creates a separation from other people, and that separation can take away from humanness. Our interactions with other people are blocked off. We know we aren’t sharing our whole selves with the people we should be. That block can protect us from potential pain, but it also prevents us from having all the benefits of having close relationships with other humans.
Doesn’t that sound exactly like growing up keeping our abuse secret?
We grow up with shame around something that was never our fault. That shame prevents us from fully connecting with other human beings. That lack of connection harms our mental health as adults. We struggle to heal without one of the most powerful tools in our arsenal as human beings, other people. We keep our secrets and hide our shame, meaning we will never know the healing power of being accepted and loved by those who know our whole selves.
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