Spousal Support

ByMike McBride Reading Time: 1 minute

I was exchanging emails earlier this week with someone around the issue of trying to support a spouse who is a survivor. Obviously, being the survivor in my marriage, I’m not the expert on how to handle this, but I was able to offer some insight into typical male survivor behavior and mindsets that I hope will prove useful.

It did get me to thinking a couple of things, though. One, where are the good web resources for spouses or significant others of abuse survivors? Do you guys know of any worth sharing?

Secondly, as survivors, what are some of the things you wish your significant other knew about? What are the most important things they need to know to help you? What mistakes should they avoid?

Thirdly, for those of you who may have survivors as significant others, what are your thoughts? What do you think are the most important things that you know? What mistakes have you made?

Any and all input is appreciated!

Tags: childabuse, spouse, survivors

Similar Posts

  • |

    Let the Fault Lie Where it Should

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 2 minutes

    I was thinking earlier this week about why many victims of child abuse, or domestic violence, continue to believe they deserved what happened to them. One of the themes I very often see is actually immaturity. The reason I say that is, immature people see themselves as the center of everything that happens, mature people…

  • Why Finding your Current Baseline Matters

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 3 minutes

    Many people give up on healing because they can’t see how far they’ve come. They can only see how far away their ideal self is from where they are now. Sadly, this ideal is often unrealistic. We are also blind to our progress because we didn’t set the baseline. We look at our status today and can only compare it to what we think we should be instead of looking back and seeing how much improvement there was. 

  • So, How Are You Doing?

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 2 minutes

    But, that’s not what I want to talk about today, because, frankly, I think we’re all talked out on the subject, or at least I feel like I’m all talked out right now. If you don’t realize that anxiety and other mental health issues are sitting heavy on all of us this year, I don’t know that there’s anything I can say that will convince you of it. I want to talk about some good things, because, why not? I want to appreciate the following:

    No matter what happens with the election, the sun rose today. It will set tonight, and rise again tomorrow. And I am here to see it.

    I am thankful for the many friends and family members we’ve been in touch with in the last few days, even if it’s just to text and say “WTF”?

    Laughter, because sometimes there’s nothing else to do but laugh, and it’s good for you.

    You are here, reading this. You’re Alive!

    Hope, that as long as there is a tomorrow for any of us, there is hope in the fact that things are always changing in the world, and in our lives.

    Love. For each other, and ourselves.

    Nature.

    The technology that lets us all check in with each other, across the world, at any time.

  • |

    Let’s Try Something New on Social Media #SeePositiveSharePositive

    ByMike McBride Reading Time: 4 minutes

    The image above was something I posted to Instagram and across the social media accounts for this page for a specific reason. I wanted to both thank the people who do share and retweet posts from this site, and also gently remind people that this is basically a one-man endeavor. There’s no marketing department, there’s…

2 Comments

  1. Wow, Mike, this is cool! You’ve always got such thought-provoking posts. Shucks, I know there is a great book written for support/significant others by Laura Davis and/or Ellen Bass, of “Courage to Heal” fame, but I can’t remember the title of it. It’s good. As far as Internet support, I have a feeling that’s a pretty wide-open niche.

    Reply

  2. As a spouse this is the website I go to for help. I feel comfortable. I don’t know where to go on the internet and I don’t want to get lost on the way. Its hard to ask for help.

    Most important thing I know is that I know. I do not want to make any mistakes. That is why I am here I guess.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

To respond on your own website, enter the URL of your response which should contain a link to this post's permalink URL. Your response will then appear (possibly after moderation) on this page. Want to update or remove your response? Update or delete your post and re-enter your post's URL again. (Find out more about Webmentions.)