Email about my wife
This was just a part of an email someone sent me the other day, and I wanted to share it with you.
I also want to say that your wife Angela must be an amazing woman.
You speak of her often, and the love you have for her shines through your words. You know how when you read written words, you actually hear yourself saying them silently. I was to a point where I came to your wife’s name…. Angela, and to myself I said ‘Angel’. Then I corrected myself, and read Angela….. and just then, I thought…… to Mike, she is
~His Angel~.
It made me happy to see that without having to get too sappy in my writing someone can see how much my wife means to me. I’ve never been a big proponent of having the right wife, husband, boyfriend, etc. be an important part of healing yourself as a survivor, because I did a lot of healing before she came along, and I believe each of us has the ability to do that work in ourselves. I don’t need Angela to be healthy.
On the other hand, it is important to have people in your life who you respect, and who inspire you to improve yourself. My wife does that in a couple of different ways. One, I adore her and aspire to be the husband she deserves to have. I can’t do that without constantly striving to improve myself. Secondly, she inspires me in her day to day life. When I watch the way she makes friends easily, interacts comfortably with people, is hospitable towards them, and generally attracts people to herself though her generosity and thoughtfulness I realize that I want to be more like that. I learn how to be a kinder, more thoughtful and better friend by watching my wife every day.
So, while I may not have needed my wife to be there supporting me to learn how to heal, it sure helps to have people in your live who do support you, inspire you, and who teach you through their examples how to improve yourself every day.
I hope, in 2008, you can find your own forms of inspiration, no matter where they come from!
I have always said that the best thing you’ve done in your life was getting healthy. I say it somewhat selfishly because getting healthy put you in the place that allowed us to meet, marry (2nd best thing you’ve done) and have the fantastic life that we enjoy so very much. But even if you didn’t have me being healthy would be it’s own reward.
I’m honored to be your wife and companion as we make our way through and learn how to be better people.
Deb Estep sent me to this article because she knows I am an incest survivor and because she knows how I feel about my husband. Angela is your angel as my Daniel is mine. You might would get healthy without her by your side and it sure helps when you have a wonderful, caring spouse who gives you the space to do the work on yourself that you need to do. I recently found your blog before Deb sent me her email. It is always nice to find a fellow survivor who is doing well and helping to spread the word that you can survive and thrive.
A while back I wrote in my blog about what I need in a partner. I also included comments on my own self-improvement and how they benefitted the relationship between my husband and me.
I found it so refreshing to read your blog entry and see that there are other people out there who have also seen how rewarding self-improvement can be, and how wonderful it is to have a supportive partner.
http://exitingthewasteland.blogspot.com/2007/06/what-i-need-in-partner.html