Freedom to Heal

posted in: Child Abuse, Observations 7 |
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Given the response to my last post, and the discovery that this month’s blog carnival against child abuse topic is Freedom to Heal, I thought it would be a good time to expound a bit on the idea of taking care of yourself. As the comments point out, survivors often struggling with feeling like they need permission to take care of themselves first.

I actually liken it to a scene in Shawshank Redemption. After spending most of his life in prison, Red is finally paroled and finds it difficult to go to the restroom without asking permission. He makes a somewhat crude reference to not being able to physically go without a boss giving him permission. He’s simply been in prison so long that his body is trained that way.

Survivors making the choice to take care of themselves is a similar situation. So many of us have been conditioned to take care of others, to think of our own needs last, perhaps even that our needs don’t matter. It can be difficult to look after our needs first and foremost because we’ve been trained not to do that, and just like the reaction of the boss at the grocery store that Red works in after being released, it makes absolutely no sense to anyone else. That’s because it’s perfectly normal to want to take care of ourselves.

Survivors need to remember that, and then we need to give ourselves permission to do what we need to do as human beings, take care of ourselves!

7 Responses

  1. mile 191
    | Reply

    Thank you for your submissions. I have read them both and found things in them that I needed to hear. I plan to use them both in the carnival. Thank you for writing. mile191

  2. Paul M. McLaughlin
    | Reply

    mile 191,
    I’m starting to go blind and doctors say I have to get eye surgery.
    I will go and see your web page at: http://mile191.blogspot.com
    Thank you.

    Paul M. McLaughlin
    Liz SEVEN McLaughlin
    Save Our Children

    “Loved In The Midst Of Suffering”
    http://www.efn.org/~scan/story5.html

    Web Page since 1995 from a Handicapped and
    Survivor.
    http://www.efn.org/~scan

  3. toni
    | Reply

    Profound insight and information here–thank you.
    Are you familiar with the work of psychologist Alice Miller? http://www.alice-miller.com
    Her insight into child abuse is amazing!

    • MikeM
      | Reply

      Toni, yes I am somewhat aware of Alice Miller’s work, but thanks for reminding me about it!

  4. MarjakaThriver
    | Reply

    So succinctly well said! Yes, I continue to have to remind myself of this important message. Self-care is so important for my healing. Thanks for this post, Mike. And thanks for sending it in for the blog carnival. Perfect!

  5. colleen
    | Reply

    Thank you for this reminder.

  6. Taking care of ourselves is not selfish even though that is what I was taught as a child. I am getting better but still have a way to go. Thanks for the reminder.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.