Dealing with Change and Challenges

oregonThose of you who follow my other blog may already know this, but we are moving again! To Oregon of all places!

As I look ahead to the challenges of moving to a new location, and dealing with living across the country from my wife for a couple of months, it occurs to me that I feel pretty confidant about the whole situation, because we’ve done it before.

When we moved to South Carolina just about 3 years ago, I moved down for my job, and Angela stayed behind to pack up the house and fulfill some work commitments. We lived apart for more than 6 months. This time it’ll be under 3 months, and since I work from home when I’m not traveling, I don’t even need to switch jobs, just locations.

Anyway, to the broader point. Child abuse survivors, many times, do not have the experience of dealing with change and challenges to fall back on when faced with this sort of challenge. We have spent so much of our lives trying to survive, and protect ourselves, that the confidence that comes from making our own decisions, or overcoming new challenges is a foreign concept. We want nothing less than to have anything change, and yet life is all about change. We can’t avoid change, we can only learn to deal with it. The quicker you can learn to deal with it, by taking on some small challenges, and gaining confidence, the more you can make positive changes in your life, and take advantage of new opportunities.

Self confidence is like any muscle in your body, it only grows stronger by exercising it.

What are you waiting for? What small challenge can you accept, and face, today?

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  1. It is extremely difficult for the child of abuse to put themselves out for possible rejection/criticism. I started playing the organ for church on Sundays when I was about 9. I remember I had to get to the church at least an hour before services because I knew I would be violently ill in the bathroom prior to going up to sit at the organ. I was terrified I would make a mistake and be judged harshly. I am still uncomfortable in new situations and it definitely tracks back to the abuse and the fear that I was different…didn’t fit in…wasn’t good enough. These are the invisible wounds of children at risk.

  2. Good blog! My ex-therapist and i discussed this before. Change/challenges is a new concept when you never had to deal with it before or knowing how to utilize change/challenge especially if you never had a positive role model. Change is scary and I am still struggling with change, but making small progresses. I agree with Peggy.

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