NOPin

Quick Thought #20 – As a Male Sexual Assault Survivor, I’m Appalled by what the US is Doing to Women

First off, let me acknowledge something. As a man, I have no right to make the Supreme Court’s decision to overthrow the right to abortion access about me. This post is not that. It is, in fact, an acknowledgment that as much as I want to advocate for all sexual abuse survivors, and want to highlight the damage that is done to male survivors, I have always had to keep in the back of my mind that for biological female survivors there is always one risk that goes far and beyond anything a male survivor has to deal with, being impregnated by their abuser.

Over the years of being in the public about my sexual abuse, I’ve interacted with many female survivors. Some I know in person, and others only online. I know that some of them have had abortions because of a sexual assault. I know some that were taken for underage abortions to try and hide sexual abuse. This is not nearly as rare as some would have you believe.

The reality is, that for all survivors, our choice was ripped away from us, and the only way to even begin healing is to have the space to make our own choices about how to move forward and heal. I have always cherished the freedom I was given in therapy to choose how I wanted to move forward, and the power to make my own decisions about treatment, something that I never felt safe doing previously. It empowered me to heal and live the life that I know have. Again, I’ve met many survivors who have thrived because of their ability to choose how to move forward. As I’ve said many times, some of them moved forward in ways similar to myself, and many others did not.

Given this, I cannot imagine the kind of harm we are doing to female survivors when we tell them they have to carry their pregnancy to term. That they remain in a condition where they have no choice. States, including my own, that have or are moving toward enacting complete bans on abortion with no exception for rape and incest victims are ripping the choice of how to move forward away, victimizing these survivors a second time. Forcing their own desires on the bodies of women.

If your religion is willing to force the victim of a violent crime to continue to be violated in this way, you need a better religion. You need a better god, and you absolutely need a better heart. You are not righteous, you are an abuser.

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