Social Media is Not What It Promised to Be – a History

I registered the domain for this website in 2001, long before Facebook, Twitter, or any other platforms we have today. I started blogging in October of that year, though some of those early posts were lost, moving from Blogger to MovableType and, now, to WordPress.

What hasn’t changed is the mission. I’ve maintained this site for almost 24 years because I believe there should always be one place on the internet where child abuse survivors, people dealing with mental health issues, and the people who love and support them can see that they are not alone. This site isn’t going anywhere. I am as committed to that purpose today as I have ever been.

When social media platforms came about, that mission compelled me to stretch into those tools with the same purpose. How cool that I could create an account that attempted to do the same thing, show the life of someone who survived childhood abuse, depression, dissociation disorder, and anxiety, so anyone else could know that they are not alone in dealing with these things no matter who they are. For years, I was able to exist in social media communities with other survivors and mental health advocates. I made friends, shared knowledge, learned from them, etc. I even created a Facebook group to grow a community and ran it.

That ended a few years ago for a couple of reasons. The biggest one was how much work it took to keep it safe. I had to approve every new member and post because Facebook scammers and trolls were everywhere. I couldn’t do the same with comments, and I found myself spending more and more time deleting comments arguing about religion, politics, or people simply scamming the group members. I also realized that the algorithm wasn’t showing the posts to anyone anyway. The group had well over 1,000 members, yet the typical post was seen by 10-15 of them. That seemed like a ton of effort to keep a group going that wasn’t offering much in the way of the community as Facebook took it away from people’s feeds. What had started as an excellent tool for staying connected to friends and the mental health communities online had turned into an algorithmic pool of junk over the years.

It continues to be that way today. This website’s page has over 5,100 followers. Posts with links to new blog posts have an average reach of about 17 this month. 

Let’s not even talk about the right-wing hate machine that X/Twitter has become or the recent Meta changes to allow more hate speech.

Those platforms are no longer about connecting people and generating community. They are about generating outrage and attention. That’s pretty much all they are. And yet, my mission sticks in my head. Do I want there to be one account, one page, that lets an abuse survivor know that they are not alone? I do, but I give up trying to build a community. I don’t think it’s worth my time. It’s also not good for my mental health.

I realize now that while I might want to use various social media platforms to replace those, what I’ve always wanted is still here. Sure, there are links to other platforms where you can find me at the top of the page, but the place I control and where I get to try and build a community with like-minded readers is here and in my newsletter.

You are my online community, and while your numbers might not be as large as the number of followers I had on other platforms, I’m not worried about how this platform will change and become dangerous to any of you. This platform, MY platform, is safe for survivors, for those of you with mental health struggles, and for those of you dealing with illness, oppression, hatred, and discrimination. There are no shareholders to be beholden to, no one tracking you, no ads. There’s nothing here but one guy reminding you all that you are not alone.

Given what we’ve seen in the US news this week, the time to double down on my mission is now. As you open your social media feeds and see more disinformation, lies, and hate, I want you to know that this little website isn’t that. There is no room for hate here, and it is not welcome. If you agree, please consider sharing this site with your friends, online and off, and helping me ensure that all those folks know they are not alone.

You might find me on various social media platforms in the future, but I’m not promising to be present on them. I’ll always be right here, though. I hope you’ll join me.