Over on the Survivors News and Review blog, we’ve setup a page for you to submit your own review of books, documentaries, movies, etc. that you have found really helpful. Naturally, there are rules about what can be submitted, but if you have something to share with the survivor community and don’t want to be bothered going and creating your own blog, submit a review and we’ll consider sharing it!
I enjoyed seeing Sarah’s “Thank You” post today. I loved what she had to say about how blogging has helped her.: Blogging. It’s broken the aloneness. I’ve kept silent for so long. Afraid to tell the awful things that happened. Afraid to speak. So I write. Here I can say it. I have said similar…
Pin I’ve mentioned this in the past, but in the last week, I’ve had another stark reminder that not everyone is in a place where they can simply share with their social networks the fact that they are a survivor of childhood abuse, or are dealing with mental health issues. If you’ll allow me to quote…
Pin Just like in sports though, sometimes it’s not about how the world works, or what mistakes we made, it’s about the other team. In our case, it’s the abuser. They did this. Healing is understanding that, and coming to grips with the fact that our lens is wrong. We’re looking at someone else’s actions and choices through a lens that only sees ourselves. We were abused, maybe when we told someone, we weren’t believed, or maybe even as adults, when we share our experiences we make others uncomfortable. But it’s not us. Other people get to make their own choices, have their own reactions, and choose who, and what, to believe.
What we need to do, is start untying other people actions and reactions, from ourselves. The abuser chose to abuse. The people who refused to help, made that choice, and the people who still don’t believe us, have their own reasons for doing that. None of it has anything to do with us, those are other people making their own choices, playing their own game. We can do everything right, live our life to the best of our abilities and still “lose” in these interactions. It happens. It doesn’t lessen us, it shows us who these other people are, and tells us about their agendas.
We learn from that, and move on. We do not blame ourselves for their agendas.
It does take developing a more mature lens to view life through, and that takes time, and work. Are you up for it? Or maybe the better question, are you tired of blaming yourself?
Pin Healing is a long journey. It’s easy to see what you think is the result of healing, whatever that looks like for you, and measure yourself by the fact that you aren’t there yet. I’d disagree with that. Not that you shouldn’t have an eye on the prize, so to speak, but you need to see the details, and you need to enjoy the details.
Thanks to the owner stopping by and leaving a comment, I’ve found another survivor blog, Long Lonely Walk, to add to the list of brave survivors willing to share their stories and journey.
Pin It pains me to know that so many survivors spend their adult lives in isolation and shame because they don’t know other survivors around them. This is why telling our stories when we can, is so important. No one should spend most of their adult life ashamed of surviving abuse. Those of us who are in a position to share our story and the statistics about abuse can change that. You can change that by sharing those stories and those statistics, shedding light on a subject we spend too much time trying to avoid. That light saves lives.
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RT @SurvivorNetwork: ICYMI – Share Your Own Review http://t.co/TfPvXHKbWd #sitenews
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