Question to ponder

Dan left an interesting comment to that last post. He said he hasn’t a clue how to live his life his own way. Now, obviously, the exact details of living a life are going to be different for each individual, but I think there probably are some basics. For me, learning to live life my own way started with very simple things. It started by making small decisions based solely on what made me happy. I needed to give myself permission to consider my own happiness as important. I needed to be able to say “I need to do this because it is part of me being healthy, and not because others expect, or want me to.” For others, that may not be the case.

What does it mean to you?

Similar Posts

  • |

    Messages

    Recently I had a chance conversation with another survivor of abuse. We were talking about the lasting effects of abuse and she was sharing with me how things she was told by her abuser have stuck with her over the years. I think we all know people just like her. People who were told at…

  • | |

    ACE Awareness – Good, Bad, Both?

    If you’re not familiar with the now somewhat famous ACE studies, what we are talking about here are studies that seem to show that the more Adverse Childhood Experiences you had, the more likely it is that you will deal with bad outcomes in adulthood. The original studies got a lot of media attention, deservedly,…

  • A study

    Jean, a “psychologist-in-training” posted a message in the forums about finding survivors of physical child abuse by a parent and/or caregiver as part of her dissertation. If you’re interested you can read more about it in her post, and contact her.

  • Project82

    I got an email today from Pat McDonald of Project82.com. They are providing a place for abuse survivors to file a confidential report so that prosecutors can find them as they research possible victims of a molester. In their own words: Project82 and The National Sexual Assault Report Database is the brain child of Katie…

  • A sense of self

    I was taking a quick look at the deadline for the latest Carnival Against Child Abuse when I noticed that this month’s host has changed the topic a little bit. She wanted to focus on self-injury and sense of self. It quickly occurred to me that much of what we’ve been discussing about relationships, and…

  • |

    When it Comes to Abuse, Trafficking, and Violence, Do We Have a Race and Gender Problem?

    What I want to address, however, is how our society defines victims and how it leaves far too many people behind. The article above is a great example. How many people, if asked about sex trafficking, picture little white girls or women abducted from Target? Probably a lot. For many, the only information they’ve ever gotten about trafficking are warnings about Target or shopping mall parking lots from their Facebook friends. They don’t know how many teenage boys from broken homes, living in poverty, are pulled into being trafficked. How many gay youths, rejected by their families, fall victim to it? How many immigrant children here, with no parental supervision, are sold off by the people who should be protecting them from sexual slavery? 

    Those stories, even if they’re told, are not going to grab national headlines. They are not going to evoke world-wide outrage and sympathy. Those are things that happen to “other people”. We might even be tempted to start looking for reason why it’s their own fault, or at least the parents fault, right? 

    From a media perspective, we also have to keep this in mind. An abduction of a young white girl from her home, is a rare event. It’s actually newsworthy because it happens so rarely. When it happens, it’s shocking. A trans, minority, teen being coerced into selling themselves, with no one to turn to for protection, isn’t any of those things. A gay male teen being kicked out of their parents house and trying to make it through homelessness, is also not something that happens so rarely that there would be major news coverage of it. These things happen all of the time. So often, that they aren’t really news. 

    So, which group should we have support and services for? I’d like to vote for ALL OF THEM. But that will take educating people about the reality of who gets abused, who gets trafficked, and for us all to accept that it happens everywhere. Until we get there, and are willing to see all different types of people as victims, we will continue to fail one group or another. That’s not acceptable. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Your post must include a link to this post.

How does this work?
Write a response on your own website and include a link to this post. Then submit your response’s URL here. Your response may appear here after moderation. To update or remove it, edit or delete your original post and submit the same URL again. Learn more about Webmentions.