Similar Posts
Sharing – Sex Crimes Are Committed By People From All Walks of Life… and All Tax Brackets
I think the folks at Horowitz Law have got this right: “Most sex offenders, therefore, don’t fall into some easily-identifiable, logical category. They can be young or old, shy or outgoing, tall or short, and of course rich or poor. We wish this weren’t the case, of course. Because this reality leads to a disturbing…
Sharing – People Aren’t ‘Addicted’ to Wearing Masks, They’re Traumatized
‘ve been describing it to friends and coworkers as “the inability to just turn off the fear of other people and their germs”. Because, in some ways, that’s exactly what it was. I’ve spent a year plus barely leaving my house. Sure, I worked from home even before the pandemic, but it’s an extreme sport now, going into the back yard is an adventure into a strange and exotic place, let alone being around other people.
Yesterday, however, I did manage to get out and meet up with a friend and former coworker. I won’t say it wasn’t awkward. But, it wasn’t as awkward as my anxiety had built it up in my head, mostly because I think we both knew it was awkward, and went out of our way to figure out what we were comfortable with. We met in the office building where she works, wearing masks. She asked if I wanted to keep being masked walking to lunch, and we agreed to not, and to sit outside to be safer. And she asked before giving me a hug after lunch.
It was an important lesson to me, that we need to navigate this together with the people we care about, and meet them at the level where they are comfortable. It’s not about racing to be the most “normal” group, it’s about making sure everyone comes along, and is comfortable, because we’ve all dealt with various levels of trauma over the last 14-15 months, trauma that will show up in a variety of ways. There’s nothing wrong with people who are slower to feel comfortable, they are just doing what they can. I’d rather meet them where they are, and where I am, than not see them at all anymore, or shame them about their own hesitation. It’s not a race.
Sharing – Sometimes just one conversation can really help
Adam’s comment about his relationship with his mother is excellent. “My mum can always sense when I don’t feel myself. When I’m in a bad place she can see I’m acting differently, so she asks me how I am. It’s helpful when she starts the conversation with me, because it shows she’s not too busy…
Sharing – Psychological and Physiological Power of Validation
Note what it says, words like listening and acceptance. Note also what it doesn’t say, like anything about fixing things or changing their feelings, etc.
I talk often on here about simply being there. Sitting with someone who is struggling. Validation is all about that, and as you can read further, validating someone is maybe one of the best things you can do to keep open lines of communication, help them feel valued, and not dismiss their emotions.
