Child abuse can be all about shame and guilt. Because the entire world wants to believe that things are fair when we grow up, trying to square that belief with what happened to us as children naturally leads us to believe it’s our fault.
You can’t have self-compassion and also believe the abuse you suffered was your fault. We have to get past this idea that the world is fair and we get what we deserve. It’s simply not true. We have to be willing to have the same compassion for ourselves that we would have for another crime victim.
Everyone deserves to have some compassion for others and learn how to have compassion for themselves.