Sadly, this is true.for all victims, but I feel like it is especially true for male victims of sexual abuse. We’re supposed to tough it out and not show any weakness, especially hockey players of all people! But healing really comes from being able to talk about it, whether that be publicly or privately.
For all the good she has done with taking her message pulbic and using her celebrity to spread the message of all survivors, I’m glad she is also speaking out about this issue. “The last few months I wasn’t putting myself first at all,” she told the magazine. “I was so obsessed with trying to…
From Monday 29th April there is an update due on further allegations of historical child sexual abuse at North Welsh residential care homes from the 1970s onwards. Over 100 further disclosures were received by police following last year’s initial enquiry regarding the Bryn Estyn and other notorious care homes in Wales. The BBC has the…
I appreciate the fact that this therapist recognizes how difficult it is to come forward with these things because it does take a lot to talk about it, especially the first time you tell someone.
At the same time I wonder how differently we might look at ourselves as we try to heal if we knew that we were the 4th or 5th person who talked to that one therapist about being sexually abused that day?
It’d be hard to feel alone, for one, right?
None of these things is going to “fix” the stress and anxiety we are all feeling, but they can build up the resources we need to face it and go forward. Developing these skills is an important part of dealing with difficulties, and for survivors, they are also an important part of healing. The more strength you have in these areas, the better prepared you are to heal and move forward.
We often talk about the cup analogy, not being able to pour from an empty cup, but this article gives you really concrete ways to make sure your cup has something in it.
Turns out, we’re all a lot more complicated. If you read the rest of the article, what you’ll see is that none of this is simple, not only is there the line between wanted and unwanted affection, there’s also a point where we’ve simply had enough and don’t want more, and that line is not going to be the same for everyone.
All of this leads me to believe that the best way to navigate this in romantic relationships, or just with family and friends, is to communicate openly about what we want and don’t want.
Believe it or not, abuse survivors, you can do that. You can create your own boundaries, and ask for what you want in any relationship. It just takes some time to learn how.