This could, obviously, apply to many things in our society right now, but I’m interested especially in the mental health aspects of it, especially as a survivor.
“Arrogant persons not only believes they are always right, but also believe their religious, political or ethnic groups are right, while often harboring a deeply held conviction that those outside their group are wrong. This need to be right invariably engenders personal and cultural strife. If you have the attitude that you’re right and others are wrong this will provoke conflict, since those who you deem wrong will be offended and become defensive. Humility does not provoke conflict, but rather cooperation. Arrogance breeds arrogance, while humility breeds humility and leads to constructive communication, understanding and peace.”
I don’t think anyone would consider child abuse survivors to be super arrogant, but I do wonder if we likewise do not have much humility either. The reason I say this is because humility requires knowing something that I think survivors struggle with, and that is understanding our own place in the world. I’ve often said, and recently said in an interview that I’ll have more details on later this week, that abuse disrupts childhood development, such that we don’t really understand ourselves and our place in the world. We were too busy surviving.
I want to hypothesize that in order to gain humility, you have to know yourself, and that’s going to be difficult for survivors, which makes it difficult for us to have success in any kind of relationship, or interaction with the rest of the world.
It is, as this article points out, in our best interest to develop humility, by first learning about ourselves, and gaining a realistic view of ourselves. To do that, start with understanding what happened to you, and how it is impacting you now. Then, start working on a plan to know yourself, and what you want.
It will take time, effort, frustration, pain, and a bunch of other things as well, but it can be done, and it is worth it.